Parent accusations

[sunnydays]

Has anyone ever had petty accusations made about you by parents? Yesterday I had an irate parent call me and accuse me of losing half of her child's Halloween costume...which I had never even seen! When they brought the costume I put it straight into the child's bag and took it out to dress her before our Halloween playgroup...I dressed her at home so the costume never left the house. There was only one piece in the bag..I assumed it was the entire costume...didn't know there should be tights, wings and antennae with it! Not only was I accused of losing these items that I had never seen, I was then accused of taking the child around bare legged to the Halloween events we attended! I put all the childrens' costumes on over their clothing and found it quite insulting that they would think I would take her out with bare legs. I am pretty organized and think i would have noticed wings, tights and antennae if they were here and had fallen out of the bag! I amy at times have a hard time locating socks which the kids are constantly taking off and leaving around, but this was an absolutely false accusation! I am still trying to decide how to deal with it (let it go, tell them how unhappy I am with their rudeness). AHve any of you had similar situations? How did you deal with it?

[Play and Learn]

I have a 3-strike and your out policy here, and it's written in my manual/contract, which they signed! Pretty much sums up, you will respect me, my property, and anyone in my home. If you cannot do that, you're gone.

I would tell her bluntly that I am upset, and that you don't need someone to treat me in this manner. (i'm mad for you!). And then give her a strike (and let her know how many she has left, and write it down in some type of journal).

I've had one parent that was dumb as fuck. I made a promise to a friend that I would take her for the month. Well, within that month, she had 3-strikes (which I told her each time). Then at the last day of care, she asked for another month. I just looked at her confused, and told her that I cannot trust her as a client.

[sunnydays]

Thanks Play and Learn. These clients are actually only with me until january as they have decided to put the child in a daycare centre. The child is extremely challenging in many many ways, but I have had her since last March and thought I can manage until January...but when the parents are disrespectful on top of it all, it makes me wonder if I should bother. At the very least I think I will let her know how I feel about it as you suggest...otherwise I will sit here and fume.

[Sandbox Sally]

Wow. I am sorry you have to deal with this. I wouldn't let it go. This will set precedent, and they may feel free to treat you with the same disrespect in future exchanges. Maybe telling them just as you have told us from your perspective what happened will make them realize that they were asses to accuse you. If not, then at least they'll have an idea what is going on next time they're rude, and you terminate care.

[Spixie33]

I would say something like "I know Halloween can be hectic and stressful but what came up yesterday about the costume concerned me. It felt like you were accusing me of something and questioning my honesty and that troubles me. I would never take Sally out bare legged in October and I was somewhat shocked that you would think that. I was quite upset by the tone of that phonecall.

I think it is important to say something so they know that it was not appropriate but try to also acknowledge they might have just been frazzled coming from work, finding part of the costume lost etc so that the communication doesn't get nasty. Maybe they are now to embarrassed to fess up that the mistake was on their end.

I feel bad that you had to get accused like that. Yikes !!

[Judy Trickett]

Oh, yeah, that would make me mad. ONE, if a parent can not trust you enough to think you would NEVER allow a kid to run around bare-legged when it's freaking 10 degrees outside then that parent needs to go.

I would be livid. I hope you said something to them. That might get them a termination notice around here.

[playfelt]

Any chance you took pictures of the children dressed up - that would support your no wings, wore over clothes point - not that should have to verify or justify anything but it would totally take the sail out of the wind for the parents. You could use the picture with a here is a picture from yesterday I expect an apology for the accusations you made regarding my level of care.

[sunnydays]

Thanks for all the support! Judy: I have actually considered termination because of this plus the challenges I have already been facing with this child...I'm glad to hear I am not out of line here. Playfelt: yes I did take pictures and I will be sending them to all the parents as soon as I get them trnasferred to the computer...they will definitely see their child wearing pants under the costume even though we were inside and there were definitely no wings, tights or antennae! I am in the process of writing an email along the lines of what Spixie suggested, but want to make sure it says exactly what I want to say, so I'm taking my time on it and trying to word it carefully.

[Skysue]

Come on you took it and wore it tricker treating yourself! That’s crazy rudeness on there part. Even if it did get misplaced stuff happens.

[sunnydays]

Well, I sent them an email stating that I was not happy with the direspectful way the mother had spoken to me. She has not responded (it's been two days) and the dad (who does pick-ups and drop-offs) hasn't said a word. This combined with the fact that their child takes way more energy than any of the others and I am worn out, has led me to decide to terminate them on Friday. I believe they are trying to find somewhere else to put her anyway and I don't think this parent-caregiver relationship is working anymore