Advice Please!

[littlefish]

I need your advice on this one:

I had a DC since he was one year old, now he's three years old, parents are fine with payment punctual, intentionally by accidents he is not careful where he is going so clean up after playing so I constantly dealing with him lt has being so challenging with him I don't want to terminate because I don't want to feel bad that I gave up on him but he is making me so stress out because he needs one on one, parents describes him like a smart, normal child but he is special need and I can't mention to them. Parents take vacations and grandparents take charge so his routine changes and he comes to daycare to throw tamtrums at me I don't know what to do anymore I have the rest of the children but I feel that I only focus on him. What do you think? please help! If I say to him please clean up he responds should listen more and be more calm, he is in daycare and we follow rules, maybe that is affecting him. I don't know how to help him!

[Van]

If you had him since he was one , he maybe bored and ready for a new daycare
he does sound as if he is special needs and needs a one on one teacher just for him as he is taking a lot of your time and attention away from the other children

[ebhappydc]

Has he gradually become more aggressive in the last few months, or has he been a handful since the beginning?

Does he have enough outdoor time to run off his energy? I find a lot of my dcks spend time at home watching TV and I let them run a lot here outside to run off that young energy. I feel you have to bring the parents in the loop and perhaps advise that lately, he seems to be needing a lot more re-directing and is disruptive to your normal daycare routine.... since you've known the parents for a couple of years, can you mention to them he's becoming challenging to the point of it disrupting the other children's needs? That they have to help in changing this behavior.
I've had a few challenging children over the years and i would advise the parent the behavior that was happening and that it wasn't working for group care... parents usually try hard to help curb the behavior because they don't want to lose a spot. Does he speak okay and give eye contact?
I guess if they are on board to try and help, but nothing still changes, they would hopefully seek additional counsel to see if he is a special needs child in which case he may not be a good fit depending on his needs, to continue to care for. good luck!

[littlefish]

Hi ebhappydc,
He has become aggressive I noticed it when he turned 2 years old, by talking with his dad he seems to ingnore the fact that his son my have challenging issues he always avoids any comments about his behaviour and he always responds he doesn't do it at home so I just don't know at this point, my fees for him is just a regular fee but if he is challenge need the fee should be different and I feel I am giving my energy into caring for this kid, I don't see them helping him with his behaviour specially mom for example she brings him chewing gum I had to take his gum and give it to mom, so I feel I am caring for this child and also educating the parents is a heavy load with them! I hope it works out but really don't want to terminate I don't think that is the solution he will go to school in one 1 year a half so I have still have energy by then thank you

[ebhappydc]

Quote:
by talking with his dad he seems to ingnore the fact that his son my have challenging issues he always avoids any comments about his behaviour and he always responds he doesn't do it at home so I just don't know at this point, my fees for him is just a regular fee but if he is challenge need the fee should be different
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The child most likely does do this at home so don't let dear old dad off the hook too fast - keep advising parents of incidents that occur incase it gets to the point you don't want to handle it anymore. I don't raise fees for kids that are challenging. But if you're only charging $30 a day I don't think that's enough no matter where you're located. Lowest should be in around $35 for over an 8 hr day. Raise your rates for September!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

But if you're only charging $30 a day I don't think that's enough no matter where you're located. Lowest should be in around $35 for over an 8 hr day. Raise your rates for September!

You can't make that call cross country. Around here, average rate is $30 including a cooked lunch, two snacks and milk for 12 hour day. I am top end at $35 with less hours but that based on rep and 20+ years in. There are plenty providers doing it for $25 in this area.

[daycarewhisperer]

If you don't want to term because you want the money then you just have to suck it up. It will get way worse and there will be injuries. Make sure you are fully insured.

The Dad is lying but the good news is hos words are your escape clause. He says he doesn't do it at home so then there is NOTHING wrong with the kid. He isn't special needs. He is just doing poorly in YOUR environment. He will do well anywhere else and if he only does well at home then the parents need to keep him home. He deserves to spend his days where he behaves like the little gentleman he truly is.

You don't have to worry a single second about termination and doing the kid a disservice. He does so well at home and he does horribly with you. It is in HIS best interest to be somewhere where he thrives and behaves like a completely normal boy.

You do not owe him a good daycare. He will leave your home and in six months won't even recognize you in public. He will have no memory of you. His parents won't utter your name. It won't matter a single iota in ANY way in his life.

Now if you want the money... then ignore that. He has a crap ton of issues and you aint seen nothing yet.

[Van]

Think of your own needs littlefish and also the other children
no harm putting a ad out there and see if you get a new client with a child who needs your loving care and it may be time to let him go with as much notice as possible so the parents get use to the idea of a new daycare for him
it will be so much easier for you and the children