Child starving herself

[Fun&care]

So I've had this dcg with for 2 1/2 years. She's always been a picky eater, but she is getting worse with time, not better and I'm getting worried and frustrated. Today I made her sit at the table for an hour but she wouldn't touch her lunch, and when I said it was naptime she smirked as if to say "I won"....gah!

She will eat the carb portion of the meal, and knows that if she asks for more I will tell her to eat her veggie/fruit/meat portions first. Because she is so picky and will not touch anything else on her plate, she'll say she's done or full and leave the table. But we are having more and more days where she hardly eats at all and as soon as mom walks through the door she runs to her and asks for a snack ( there is always one waiting in the car). For example today we had oranges and Cheerios for am snack, she only ate the Cheerios. We had pasta with broccoli and rosé sauce, and she didn't touch it at all. I am planning on making smoothies this afternoon and I know she won't have any because she's never had a sip the whole time she's been with me. So all she will have had all day is just a handful of Cheerios.

I always tell parents when she has a day like this, the response varies but overall the parents don't seem to think its s big deal and have even admitted that they don't eat much vegetables at home so that's probably why she doesn't eat them here. She's told me before that mommy and daddy make her "Kraft" noodles while they eat chicken and rice etc....

To top it all off, even her mood depends on what we are eating. She will ask me before EVERY snack or meal what we are having and if it's something she doesn't like, she pouts and walks away and if it's something she does like she starts jumping up and down with excitement. It drives me crazy. But I think Im going to put a stop to this and not tell her what we are having anymore, she will have to wait and see.

I'm closing at the end of June so on the one hand, I am tempted to just let it go, but on the other hand I am genuinely worried about her not eating. She looks hungry by the end of the day and just waits for her parents to pick her up. Ive seen picky kids before but this is just beyond, and usually my "tricks" work at least some of the time...not on her!

And I should mention that everyone else has seconds and thirds at almost every meal so I know it's not my cooking!

Thanks in advance!

[Lee-Bee]

So I've had this dcg with for 2 1/2 years. She's always been a picky eater, but she is getting worse with time, not better and I'm getting worried and frustrated. Today I made her sit at the table for an hour but she wouldn't touch her lunch, and when I said it was naptime she smirked as if to say "I won"....gah!

She will eat the carb portion of the meal, and knows that if she asks for more I will tell her to eat her veggie/fruit/meat portions first. Because she is so picky and will not touch anything else on her plate, she'll say she's done or full and leave the table. But we are having more and more days where she hardly eats at all and as soon as mom walks through the door she runs to her and asks for a snack ( there is always one waiting in the car). For example today we had oranges and Cheerios for am snack, she only ate the Cheerios. We had pasta with broccoli and rosé sauce, and she didn't touch it at all. I am planning on making smoothies this afternoon and I know she won't have any because she's never had a sip the whole time she's been with me. So all she will have had all day is just a handful of Cheerios.

I always tell parents when she has a day like this, the response varies but overall the parents don't seem to think its s big deal and have even admitted that they don't eat much vegetables at home so that's probably why she doesn't eat them here. She's told me before that mommy and daddy make her "Kraft" noodles while they eat chicken and rice etc....

To top it all off, even her mood depends on what we are eating. She will ask me before EVERY snack or meal what we are having and if it's something she doesn't like, she pouts and walks away and if it's something she does like she starts jumping up and down with excitement. It drives me crazy. But I think Im going to put a stop to this and not tell her what we are having anymore, she will have to wait and see.

I'm closing at the end of June so on the one hand, I am tempted to just let it go, but on the other hand I am genuinely worried about her not eating. She looks hungry by the end of the day and just waits for her parents to pick her up. Ive seen picky kids before but this is just beyond, and usually my "tricks" work at least some of the time...not on her!

And I should mention that everyone else has seconds and thirds at almost every meal so I know it's not my cooking!

Thanks in advance!

The best way to get past a picky eater is to stop caring. Serve what you serve and ignore what she does/doesnt eat. Do not make her sit an hour. When the meal is over for the other kids the meal is over for her. Don't comment on what is left on the ate just tell her the meal is over.

If the parents are bringing her snacks for the ride home then she isnt starving and she won't magically eat what you serve because she knows the 'good stuff' is waiting for her.

You won't win in a battle over food so all you can do is remove the battle so she isn't winning. Serve the meal, clear the meal, wait until the next meal. No comments on anything food related. Do no praise her when she does eat, do not scold her when she doesn't. Talk to her, just not about the food! You control what food is served she controls what she eats. Personally I serve enough of the food I know the picky child will eat that I know they won't be so hungry as to have poor behavior as a result of being hungry. But when they ask for more I just respond with "if you are still hungry eat whats on your plate" then change the subject.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

You are fighting a losing battle. She isn't starving, she is choosing to only eat the food she want to eat and parent is enabling. Yes, she likely hungry but she know come end of day, her parent will show up with snack that she like so child is not concerned.

You will not win this battle while parent gives in to her whims. And by making it a battle, you are just enforcing child's understanding that she is in charge.

Stop making it a battle. You cannot win it with parent undermining your effort. Just serve your meal, understand she will eat the part she wants and be hungry until her parent comes and gives her what she wants. When you remove the battle, you might actually discover she try something - maybe, maybe not.

Let her pout and walk away. You can't win this one.

[ebhappydc]

I don't make eye contact during lunch as I found they would look at me for a reaction to their choices. I feign yawning during eating time. When they ask in morning what are we having? I say 'your favorite - called wait and see" they stopped asking. When I serve something different I ask them for a 'polite bite' which has worked on a few, but if not, no issue. Most of the kids eat seconds, but a few turn up their nose. Sometimes I say, oh looks like your done, let me get the washcloth, they start to eat. It's not easy as you don't want them too hungry for naptime.
Offer, but rest is up to child and parents.

[Fun&care]

I dont usually make a child sit at the table unless it's my own kids. I was especially frustrated today because chicken, broccoli, and pasta are her favorite, but I think it was maybe the sauce that put her off. I figured though that if she sat long enough she would eventually at least try some...I should have known better.

A part of me knows there isn't much I can do. But it's frustrating nonetheless and I honestly worry, because I am the type that will get dizzy and lightheaded if I don't eat regularly so I find it hard to watch her starve herself like this. At the end of some days she looks weary and genuinely hungry.

It sucks to see a child get WORSE despite my best efforts and despite the fact she's been with me so long. But yes, it's a losing battle when she knows she will get what she wants as soon as mommy and daddy show up

[5 Little Monkeys]

I am exactly like you!! It bugs me knowing that I'm putting my picky eater to bed with nothing in her belly. It makes me feel terrible!!

However, I agree and do exactly like the other ladies have said. If she eats, great! If not, oh well. It has gotten easier on me and I don't stress as much about it anymore (but some days it's sooo frustrating!!) I know if she'd at least try some things, she would likely like it!!

[mickyc]

I have had my share of picky eaters. I just keep putting the same meal in front of the child. I quit fighting about it. Also for the ones I know will just eat the carb portion I only give the fruit/veggie and when they are done that then they get the carb portion. You don't eat that then you don't get the other. No more fighting, no more sitting at the table forever. Also only those finished are excused from the table. Those that don't eat sit until the last kid is done.

Now if only I could get past the kid holding food in his mouth!!! Lol. He's still doing it and then gets upset when I take his full plate away but whatever, mealtime is over!

[adaycarelady]

Picky eaters drive me crazy! Seems like there are more of them these days and that is probably cuz kids these days are so hooked on processed foods. I had this one kid who was so picky he ate nothing except bread....sure makes a person wonder what the parents are feeding their kids at home! When I was serving pasta once a drop of butter fell onto the side of the plate and one kid actually didn't want to eat cuz of the drop of butter on the rim of the plate (and yes I told him it was just butter). I used to put so much effort into cooking hot lunches and now I'm noticing I serve alot more cold lunches these days. I'd rather sweat over a hot stove for my own family who appreciates my cooking!

[ebhappydc]

An important thing providers do need to ensure is that kids don't get dehydrated during the day, especially the ones that can't talk yet. I have water available to my bunch at all times in their own non spill cups.

Also, if a child wasn't thriving wouldn't we notice that in things like dull hair, or bad nails/teeth? Seems like even with the crappy diets they still appear to be doing fine living on air!

[mickyc]

An important thing providers do need to ensure is that kids don't get dehydrated during the day, especially the ones that can't talk yet. I have water available to my bunch at all times in their own non spill cups.

Also, if a child wasn't thriving wouldn't we notice that in things like dull hair, or bad nails/teeth? Seems like even with the crappy diets they still appear to be doing fine living on air!

Lol that's because they aren't living on air- they are living on grilled cheese or peanut butter sandwiches at home! Lol.

I had one older sibling tell me her mom didn't like when I fed the kids peppers or tomatoes. I said oh? Why is that? She said it's because his diapers get so stinky. This is the boy who only eats peanut butter sandwiches at home. Oh well I said. Good grief.