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  1. #11
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    I have always been given goodbye gifts in the past (from work, from school friends, even if just changing departments in the workplace etc) so to me, goodbye gifts aren't uncommon. I give the families goodbye gifts and most give me one as well. It's a small gesture to say that they will be missed and I've enjoyed knowing them/caring for child. In some cases, I didn't get a chance to buy a gift (either forget or not enough time) but they always get a card with a heartfelt message written by me.

    I've only had the one leave for mat leave but even when friends or families have a new baby, I have always given the older sibling a small gift as well...sort of like a "congrats, your an older sibling now". If there are multiple older siblings already, I give a gift they can all enjoy. If I attend a wedding and there are children blending into one family, I give them a gift too, as it's also a special day for them.

    I understand what you're saying sparks and self entitlement is one of my biggest pet peeves.....but I'm a gift giver!!! Lol. However, if I felt the child or family EXPECTED a gift from me, than you bet I wouldn't give one!
    Last edited by 5 Little Monkeys; 04-27-2015 at 10:42 AM.

  2. #12
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    I have to agree with bright sparks. I dont understand why a child would get a gift for going on mat leave. Ive never given anything to a child leaving. We do a special treat like cookies or cupcakes on their last day and sometimes I have gotten all the kids to make a giant "card" for the child with all their handprints on it. Kids these days have SO MUCH CRAP (mine included) because we are in such a consumerist society...the amount of junk I have to throw out on a regular basis from loot bags from birthday parties, junk they get from teachers on special occasions and even dollar store stuff because the grandparents felt like buying them crap...again...it irks me to the bone. Maybe because I am pretty environmentalist and I wonder, once this stuff goes into the landfill, how long will it take to breakdown and was it really even worth it!? There are better ways to show kids (and people) that we care that don't involve plastic crap and that they will probably appreciate so much more.

    Sorry for the rant

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys View Post
    I have always been given goodbye gifts in the past (from work, from school friends, even if just changing departments in the workplace etc) so to me, goodbye gifts aren't uncommon. I give the families goodbye gifts and most give me one as well. It's a small gesture to say that they will be missed and I've enjoyed knowing them/caring for child. In some cases, I didn't get a chance to buy a gift (either forget or not enough time) but they always get a card with a heartfelt message written by me.

    I've only had the one leave for mat leave but even when friends or families have a new baby, I have always given the older sibling a small gift as well...sort of like a "congrats, your an older sibling now". If there are multiple older siblings already, I give a gift they can all enjoy. If I attend a wedding and there are children blending into one family, I give them a gift too, as it's also a special day for them.

    I understand what you're saying sparks and self entitlement is one of my biggest pet peeves.....but I'm a gift giver!!! Lol. However, if I felt the child or family EXPECTED a gift from me, than you bet I wouldn't give one!
    I am a gift giver too 5LM, but maybe its as I get older and my kids get older and I gain a different perspective that I see that this may not be the best thing to do in order to teach these kids. As I said, entitlement is growing in this generation of children, but it's those older than them raising them and caring for them who instill this into them in the first place. Entitlement is not born, it is taught so I feel an obligation to try to break that cycle by teaching the kids in a way that will likely have a better result in the end. Again, I am not meaning to be a party pooper, but ultimately, gifting has turned from being a special rarity, to much more often and for the slightest of things. Because of this, kids no longer feel the shock and happiness of these gestures, because it becomes somewhat expected and the norm.

  5. #14
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    I actually agree with you fun and care. I am a gift giver but hate receiving gifts LOL because I hate junk, clutter and things that will go unused. I have actually decreased my gift giving and think more about the gifts I do give. However, I do entirely think that it is possible to give a child both a gift and memories and like to think that I do well at both

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by bright sparks View Post
    This has me umming and ahhing to be honest. I always buy a new baby gift that's for sure. But the child leaving...well I'm not sure why I would buy that child a gift?? I always buy a gift for a child moving up into kindergarten, but it is kindergarten related. A Kindergarten themed story book, or a lunch bag/box or pencil and pad or something similar. That is a milestone worth celebrating, but leaving because of maternity leave, shouldn't I be the one receiving a gift as way of a thank you for everything?? lol Why does the kid get a gift? Can anyone tell me? I give gifts as a gesture of thanks or in celebration, but I see none of these reasons for a child leaving due to the parents circumstances. I'm not trying to be an ass, but there is a certain amount of entitlement that kids have growing up and I think it's the adults in their lives, me included, who are responsible for this. It is learnt behaviour. Then they grow up expecting gifts, which I think is a disservice. It's like when your child has a birthday and the sibling gets a gift too...that is not okay in my mind. There is a lesson to be learned in not being the centre of attention on your brother or sisters birthday, and by being pacified with a gift for fear of them acting out, is not a good thing. I see this as similar.

    I would write a nice card of thanks, if applicable, for being such a great family to deal with and for the opportunity to be part of their child's life and upbringing. But I wouldn't buy this kid a gift. I think it's totally unnecessairy. A party for the kids with party games and something fun that is saved for special occasions is more than enough. And the kid won't care about not getting a gift.
    Exactly ! I agree.
    I already gave the family the baby present when the baby was born but the DCK stayed a couple of weeks longer while mom recovered. Getting the DCK a gift just seems strange to me. IT doesn't sit right.

    I give the memory book for kids who are here from 1 - 4 years old but I don't think I should have to go to that much effort for 15 months. I give birthday and Christmas gifts but this is not seeming like a 'gift' occasion to me and they are not leaving because of school or moving - it's to go on mat leave. Sigh.

    I think a card with some nice words is a good idea and then a homemade tee with it celebrating the older sibling.

    I've been talking to the daycare kids about the change over for weeks but quite frankly they are kind of excited because the know the DCK who is taking the spot and are looking forward to the change.

    Now I feel under pressure like I will have to summon tears on Friday and I am very rare to cry about daycare transitions.

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  8. #16
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    One of my dc girls has her last day here on Thursday due to her mother's mat leave. She's been here for 4 years. I make a photo album for most of the children that leave daycare, unless it happens too fast. She's bound to miss her friends and this is a good way to have nice memories of the time she spent with her friends. We'll also be having pizza and cake for lunch.
    I'm giving mom a present for the new baby. I think it's also a nice gesture to buy the new child a present. A birth is a milestone and this family has been a part of my daycare for a significant amount of time.

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  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spixie33 View Post
    Now I feel under pressure like I will have to summon tears on Friday and I am very rare to cry about daycare transitions.

    This is a much better situation than having a parent - just never come back - with no opportunity to say goodbye when you have been so close to the child. That is worse. Believe me.

    You don't have to fake tears, but be genuine. The dcm might be making a big deal at daycare because it is a big deal for her. Honestly, I don't know of any parents around here that take the older kid out of daycare for a mat leave. Maybe it happens...

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