Hi everyone! I'm new to posting but have been referencing this forum for months and I always appreciate the advice and tips I find.

I'm fairly new to the daycare provider world and think I let this situation go on way too long already because of my lack of experience. I ask parents to provide lunch and I provide snacks. My snacks usually consist of a fruit/veggie and some sort of carbohydrate and protein (ex. veggies & dip with cheese & crackers, fruit yogurt with an arrowroot, fruit with bagel & cream cheese, etc).

I have a 20 month old dcb who is still on purees and can barely spoon feed himself. He also refuses to eat any fresh fruits and veggies at snack time no matter how I cut them. I've tried preparing them in from of him, taking a bite, touching it to his lips, but he will not eat any of it. He will not eat cheese or yogurt either (although mom says he eats yogurt at home, but it sounds like if he doesn't like the flavour, she'll try a different one until he'll eat it). At snack he will only eat the carb portion like crackers, muffins, banana bread, cheerios, toast, etc.

Just this week I (again) brought up the topic with mom telling her I'm researching and brainstorming ways to encourage dcb to eat h at sis fruits and veggies and try new things at snack time. She is very nice but is hard to read and doesn't say much when I bring up my concerns. I don't think it bothers her that he only eats carbs at snack time. Probably because she knows he gets his fruits and veggies at lunch. Which brings me to my next issue...

It's been a month and a half since I emailed mom about getting her support on spoon feeding. She didn't seem enthusiastic about taking this next step as she didn't even acknowledge this point in my email.

I have been working with dcb for quite a while teaching him to spoon feed himself. He can do it but he prefers that someone feed him. I don't blame him since he's still on pureed/strained fruits and veggies at lunch (as that is what mom provides) and they are like soup, so watered down, it's hard for him to keep any on the spoon. Dcb basically plays with his food until I feed him. If I don't feed him, he won't eat anything. Since he doesn't take in any fruits and veggies at snack I feel like I have to feed him to ensure he gets some nutrition, but it's a bad cycle and is not helping the situation. I have encouraged mom to pack finger foods for lunches thinking this might help encourage/advance dcb's eating habits but she has not done so yet.

I'm not sure if it's just a texture thing or a deeper sensory development issue. Dcb doesn't even eat stage 2 baby food. I've asked if his pediatrician has any concerns but apparently the food issues haven't been discussed with the doctor.

I am thinking about taking on a 12 month old in the summer so I need this 20 month old to be self feeding at lunch time before then. I've casually mentioned to mom that I may be taking on another young one so I'm concerned about dcb's reliance on being fed at lunchtime. I got no reaction/response and this was face to face. How can I approach this subject again? I want to set a goal for both of us to work on having dcb self feeding by x date. How much time is realistic? Is it awful to say, "I hope to have dcb self feeding by x date and I need your support on this at home. By x date, I will offer him whatever lunch you provide, but if he doesn't eat on his own, I will not feed it to him."

Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated!