20 Month Old Still On Purees & Barely Self Feeding Spoon

[CrazyEight]

I have a child still on purees - except he turns THREE next month! It's ridiculous. He eats dry carbs, like cereal, toast, and crackers, applesauce, yogurt and baby food. That is literally it. His eating has not improved at ALL since he started with me at 10 months old. I've tried everything under the sun, to the point of only feeding him what everyone else was eating, nothing else, for a solid month. He did not once try to eat anything that month, unless part of the meal included one of the above list. He starved himself for a month, because he knew as soon as he went home, he'd get his infant cereal and pureed baby food for dinner, which they still feed him every night!!

Now, I don't have the spoon-feeding issue, he'll feed himself just fine, but I finally had to decide how upset I was going to get over the issue - was it worth terming over? At the end of the day, I decided to keep him, but I made it clear he wasn't getting any special treatment. So now he gets offered regular food, and if he doesn't eat it, which he won't, unless the snack/meal happens to include those few foods, he'll get topped up with an applesauce cup or a pouch of baby food, which I squirt into a bowl and hand it to him with a spoon. His parents provide all of this, every day.

Do I agree with it? Of course not. He's babied and coddled to an incredible degree, and also has pretty severe speech issues, which I think are tied into the eating issues. BUT he's not my kid, and the parents refuse to listen. So I can stew and stress over it, I can terminate him, or I can let it go, continue with my regular day and routine, and make the PARENTS do the "special" or "extra" by sending the food. I don't prepare special food, I don't feed it to him. It works for me. In my opinion, if the parents aren't receptive to your suggestions, then nothing is going to change, because if the kid is smart and stubborn, he'll simply wait until he gets home, knowing he'll get exactly what he wants. So it's up to you if you can find a way to make it work for YOU or if you terminate the family. I agree that spoon-feeding him is ridiculous, unnecessary, and, after your new little one starts, won't be possible. So that may be something to put your foot down with them on. If they can agree to work WITH you and get him feeding himself, maybe you can work something out with them sending purees. If not, maybe it's time to consider terming them.