DCM dropped the ball on handling a very teachable moment!

[bright sparks]

I think having parents bring in things is generally not going to go well. The thought behind it is nice but it tends to turn into a problem when a child can stake a claim to something as 'theirs' versus things that belong to the whole group.

I`ve had lots of families over the years donate toys and have never had an issue at all. I had one little guy think it was so amazing that these toys were just like the ones he used to have and how cool it was to be able to play with toys `just like his old ones` at daycare lol It was a whole day event seeing this kid in absolute amazement and it was like Xmas. I asked his mum via email the next day if he had asked for those toys when he had got home and she said no. She was equally as amused at his reaction. You can imagine how much I wanted to laugh when he said I have one just like that at home lol Mum said she had put them away months before intending to donate to charity shop.

[playfelt]

Sometimes in front of other parents is the time to bring something up because it is a teachable moment for everyone. A simple I'm sorry I thought the costume was a gift for the daycare. I misunderstood. Please disregard the thank you note I put in XXX's bag then. And then say well then I guess I will have to remind you that we have a no toys from home brought to daycare because as you can see it causes negative issues and leaves everyone upset.

[Lou]

I would have been annoyed too, and I probably wouldn't have said anything but my silence would have spoken volumes. I LOVE playfelt's response! That is exactly what my silence would be conveying, lol.

I also agree with this being an awesome place to seek advice, bounce ideas and yes VENT. Who else GETS what we do and deal with on a daily basis? To all the posters, don't let anyone's tone or lack of politeness deter you from posting exactly what you want to post! Ever! The support here is amazing. It's awesome to get such a wealth of opinions in one place, but every and all opinions can be expressed in a mature and tactful way. We're all grown ups here. I hope you all are having an awesome rest time...I'm enjoying myself some cake as we type

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with bright. I think it can go either way depending on the child and the parent. Aside from that one toy, I've never had an issue with donated toys.

I even allow home toys (it happens so rarely) and for the most part, there is never an issue. If there is, well it's a teachable moment!!

[Other Mummy]

Well DCM and DCG did not come to daycare yesterday. Dcm texted me to enjoy the day and that they would see me tomorrow (today). I personally think she was extremely embarrassed as she never takes a day out of the blue. If Dcm has a scheduled day off she lets me know well in advance. Not sure if I'm even going to bring up the topic of the costume again. However, I WILL be talking about giving and receiving gifts during Circle Time. Although it happened on Monday at pick up, I'm sure it will still be fresh in Dcg's head. I'm not letting this opportunity to go by. I had to listen and console 2 other dcg's who were hell bent on wearing that damn costume yesterday when I had to remind them their little friend changed her mind and took the costume home. Followed by "....but why?? we were going to play under the sea...." "it was my turn next, not fair" Blah, blah.'

So Circle Time at Other Mummy's house will be on how to give and receive a gift. How sad our friends are when we take something back that was given out of the goodness of our hearts"!

Knowing dcm I wouldn't' be surprised if she shows up with another "replacement' costume. I will politely decline the item.

[sandylynn]

Agree...I would just say "while I do appreciate the gift....the cons certainly outweigh the pro's if dcg changes her mind again".....and I would put my foot down when the dcg throws a tantrum that the gift CAN'T stay....pass it back to the mother and say thanks but no thanks.....just my opinion

[sandylynn]

ya probably right...maybe shouldn't have judged the mother so harshly...really not my business how or what she teaches her child....not to mention the home daycare provider is left cleaning up the mess!!!

[playfelt]

In defence of the mother, how often do we go through our child's clothes or toys believing they have too many and get rid of the things that WE want to without asking the child. In this case the mom may have been downsizing the child's collection of dress up clothes, realized she had two almost the same and decided to donate one to the daycare. Even if the child chose which one - and she probably picked her favourite not realizing what was about to happen the child did not plan to have it gone forever. The mom at the end of the day realized she had made a mistake that the child wasn't ready to have her things cleaned out and took it back home.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

There lot of people thinking the mother was in wrong, totally, but it's quite the standard she being held to.

People in glass houses should not throw stones. If anyone here is pretending they have never, ever, given in to a child, they lying.

[sandylynn]

Oh my! Yes maybe the mother didn't even discuss it with the dcg....I must have misread the very first post....I thought it said that the dcg was excited to give it to the daycare..in which case yes...the mother most definitely should have discussed it with the dcg and none of this would have happened ..