DCM dropped the ball on handling a very teachable moment!

[3rdtimesacharm]

I had one family who quite often asked if I would like to have a few toys or even hand me downs for my own children. The daycare boy was 2 and would proudly bring in the new toy that we were given. There were very few issues at home time because, through out the day, dcb would say "that's MY toy, it is from MY house!". And then I would say "yes, it was yours, but you have decided to bring it to my house house now so all our friends can play with it, that was so very nice of you!" and I would encourage the others to acknowledge that this was a gift from dcb and that we should all say thank you etc etc. If there was an issue at home time I would not be impressed with the mother taking it back just because the child was having a tantrum. It is most certainly an excellent teaching moment and now the child haas taken two steps back in his sharing skills and it goes without saying that he has his mom wrapped around his finger. It is too bad.

[Discoveries]

I agree that it was a teachable moment and that it still can be. Maybe spend some time in the next few weeks teaching more about the act of giving. I would gently want to make sure that my daycare group understood that what took place was not a good thing.

If it was my own child I would have been firm on that once you give a gift it no longer belongs to you, it is not yours. It now belongs to who you gave it to. To take something not belonging to you is theft.

I would send a note home saying thank you for the kind gesture, but that at this time you feel it may be best not to accept toy donations to the daycare from children enrolled in care. Her intention was good.