Toilet training-special needs

[Busy ECE mommy]

I have done 2 different screening checklists with him at the 12/15/18mos age when he was seeing the doctor. Parents won't discuss with me what the doctor said, and are not doing any followup that I am aware of. He was ticking all the boxes for autism. The delays are in many areas-communication/social/fine&gross motor/problem solving/peer relations etc.

[bright sparks]

I have done 2 different screening checklists with him at the 12/15/18mos age when he was seeing the doctor. Parents won't discuss with me what the doctor said, and are not doing any followup that I am aware of. He was ticking all the boxes for autism. The delays are in many areas-communication/social/fine&gross motor/problem solving/peer relations etc.

The problems with these clusters that you describe, is that they are commonly attributed to a child being delayed not actually special needs so the doctors are wary about diagnosing so young in case that is all it is and they indeed catch up which many times they do. I wish there was a better system for testing because early detection of autism, between 2 and 3 at the oldest is when there are actual things that can be done to reverse it. It`s done in the US but not here.

My biggest head shake, regardless of his special needs is this ongoing issue of training a child prior to 2 years where the odds are they will not be physically or mentally ready too. There is always someone who trained before 2 and there is so much BS on the internet reinforcing the method of early training which drives me nuts. Each to their own, but I can't tell you how sick I am of parents, primarily first time mums, who want to train prior to their child's 2nd birthday. Or the ones who say oh they are 2 now, time to potty train, like being 2 automatically gives them the ability to do it. Hence my checklist. It is a handout called "Prepping for the potty" The key milestones a child must have met to train in daycare, in addition to the physical and emotional skills required to be ready to train. Doesn`t sound like this kid has any of them, but not surprising given that he is only 18 mths and that is before any of the delays you mentioned. I`d give them the checklist to work on and revisit it in the form of a conversation on or around his 2nd birthday to update mum on his progress in daycare. I also have outlined that with the extra distractions at daycare, and the fact that they are not the only one here unlike home, generally, they have to be demonstrating these requirements at daycare regularly before starting and that may be later than at home. That may not be true, but that is to cover my bases with those parent`s who over exaggerate their child`s abilities or just lie.