Teaching boundaries

[flowerchild]

Any tried and true tips or activities to teach kids personal space and boundaries? Or is it just a lot of repetition and redirecting?

DCK is almost four but has virtually no boundaries. Always in everyone else's personal space: adults and children a like.

[CrazyEight]

I have one, almost 5, that has been like that since I got her a year ago. Always, and literally always, touching, kissing, stroking, petting other kids, me, teachers, strangers, everybody. She also feels the need to engage verbally with everyone. Every. Single. Person. That we pass on the street, she screams hello at, and god forbid we see a child she actually KNOWS. Then she won't stop yelling at them until they acknowledge her. Her teachers commented on it right away when she started school, and told her parents the same thing I had been saying - she needs to learn boundaries or she's going to get hurt. Another child at school will eventually snap, because she doesn't respond to politely asking her to stop or saying "no," and at some point, another child will hit her. And it won't be that child's fault. Parents still think it's "cute."

I redirect her every time it happens, and I know her teachers do too, because otherwise it won't get any better. It's exhausting. In a full year, she's made SOME progress, but still has a VERY long way to go. Her little brother has recently been diagnosed as severely autistic, and I have a feeling dcg is also on the spectrum. She has zero attention span, on top of the zero boundaries, and doesn't seem to understand any social cues.

The only things that I've found make a difference, aside from the constant redirecting, is to purposefully remove other children from her. When we walk to school, I make her hold the empty seat of my quad stroller, as I only have 3 little ones in it right now, so there is no one to touch. When we wait at the school, she has to hold the fence or the stroller until the bell rings. When I read them a book, I have them all sit in front of me, instead of on my lap and around me, so I am simply not close enough for her to touch. I also give her something to hold to occupy her hands. At snack time, I tell all the kids where to sit, so that I can put her at the end of the row, with an empty seat beside her if possible. I try not to be mean about it, but at this point, we all know she'll start grabbing anyone next to her, given half the chance, and the other kids don't like it - and neither do I! So I keep her hands busy whenever I can and try to physically separate her where possible without removing her from the activity.

Sorry I don't have more advice - what you really need is for the parents to be as consistent with the reminding and redirecting as you are, and if they are oblivious or don't see the problem with it, it won't resolve. Good luck!