Concerned about my daughter...feel so stuck sometimes with a daycare

[torontokids]

My DD is 5. She has been sick for the last 2 months. Horrible cough (still has it), complained of ear pain, had a ruptured eardrum given antibiotics for it, complaining of headaches etc, starts falling a lot (fell down the stairs twice in a couple days), go back to Dr and they said her ear was bad still, gave more antibiotics. Said her lungs are clear and even if she had something (I was worried about pneumonia) then the antibiotics would have taken care of it. Starts throwing up on Fri, has a fever, headaches still. I go back to Dr. I ask about ear, it is now better. I explain that her having a fever is a big deal as she never gets a fever (even when her ear ruptured), they test for Strep (neg), listen to the lungs (clear). They say she has the flu and still post viral cough. My daughter is still not well. She is exhausted, not eating much, crying at the drop of a hat. I called the school to see how she is doing there and they report she is much quieter and doing more sitting down activities as of late. I want to take her to Sick Kids tonight, demand blood work, xrays the whole deal. My husband thinks we need to follow up with regular Dr. I am super worried about something like Meningitis or a larger infection that has moved from her ear to her sinus' or something.

Even as I type this I don't think I am over reacting. Feel so helpless having a daycare. I have been taking her to urgent care clinics so there has been no continuity of care which is too bad.

WWYD?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Follow your gut. A mother has instincts for a reason.

One of my sons now in his 20's was seriously ill as a child. If I hadn't followed my instinct, we wouldn't have him with us today.

[Fun&care]

It's tough. There actually are similar bugs going around here too. Bad cold which seems to have passed and now there might be a flu going around as one dcg was feverish from Friday to Tuesday.

Blood work probably isn't a bad idea and could identify deficiencies that are contributing to a shitty immune system.

I do strongly recommend you look into vitamin D though. My family and I wouldn't be able to live without it considering the onslaught of germs we are constantly exposed to. The vitamin D council recommends about 35 IU per pound per day. Which is a lot more than what the general recommendations are right now. It's very very safe because your body will simply get rid of what it doesn't need, it doesn't build up in the system and is almost impossible to overdose on. It has made all the difference for us. We hardly get sick anymore compared to before and even when we do it's such a shorter duration. It could really help her get back on her feet.

Hope she gets better soon

[Lee-Bee]

If you do go I suggest writing all the above, and anything else down before you go. Have it in writing. It is so easy to get overwhelmed or distracted while at an appointment and forgetting to pass on useful info.

Stay positive, it may just be a bad run of luck and all will clear. But, ultimately you have to trust your gut instincts and go in for extra screening and second opinions.

[Other Mummy]

Follow your gut. Take her to Sick Kids and have them run a battery of tests. Leave no stone unturned. At the very least, you will get some reassurance that it is just a bad virus that needs to clear up and has run her ragged. At the most...Sick Kids is a great hospital and will dig until they can treat her accordingly.

Stay strong momma. Big hugs. Let us know how she is doing.

[ebhappydc]

I feel for you and remember how draining it is to have a small child so sick for so long. My daughter developed ear infections around that age and they became non-stop.

Can you give her some time off school to rest at home? I had my kids home up to 2 weeks at a time occasionally at that age with back-to-back colds and flus. Does she get enough rest in general? I over-scheduled my kids, unfortunately, at times (gymnastics/dance/music/swimming etc.) and it can get to be a bit much.

Keep sugar to a minimum as that will help her immune system bounce back. If she has a lot of ear infections, tubes may be in her future. They did wonders for my daughter.

Keep us posted.

[kassiemom]

i would suggest going to sick kids emerge
I hope she feels better fast hopefully it is just a virus....

[torontokids]

So, I don't think I have ever been as made to feel embarrassed as I did last night.

I took my daughter to Sick Kids. She looked like a zombie when I picked her up from school, ate little for supper and was falling asleep at the table. I get there and they send me to urgent care at the hospital. Fine, I understand she doesn't have a broken leg or an ax in her head, makes sense. I meet with the Dr (Fellow) who is nice and does some neurological tests on her to account for her headaches mainly. Checks her lungs, reflexes etc. My DD has to pee so we go to the bathroom and the Fellow says she will be back when we're done. She comes back with the Dr for urgent care. No niceties or anything just basically tells me that I have a family Dr and I should be there, not at ER. I said that we are very concerned and this has been going on for some time. She said they only deal with acute problems, not ongoing issues. I said that I felt this was acute as she is not well and we wanted the best care for her as it is difficult for me to take her to her Dr during the day as I run a home daycare and have to close it for the day. I told her I have been accessing the Urgent Care which is connected with my Dr's office. She said "I appreciate you have a job but you're also a parent! Maybe you need to close the daycare ad take your child to the Dr" If I hadn't been so shocked at what she said I would have had a few choice things to say but instead I said "I think you are being extremely condescending and I thought I was being a good parent by bringing her here! This has been going on for 2 months and we have been taking her to the Dr. Also my husband has been taking time off of his job as well to take her"

She left and I chatted with the fellow for a bit about their recommendations which were to go see my Dr. I told the fellow that I didn't appreciate how the Dr spoke to me and no one should treat someone that way. She apologized and explained in better words what the other Dr was saying.

My husband took the morning off of work and brought her to her family Dr walk-in. She didn't even get to see her regular Dr anyways so it is not like it mattered. They are running blood work to find out what is wrong. We kept my DD home from school and she is sleeping as I type. I feel so bad for her!

[kindertime]

This is a quote from the begining of the news story in Ottawa yesterday about the children's hospital here:

Emergency room doctors at the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario will be talking to every parent or guardian that visits them about the possibility their child's health issues could have been treated elsewhere.

A news release from the hospital on Wednesday said their new "Choose Wisely" program is coming after an internal study showed an average of 80 to 100 of their 200 emergency room visits per day could have been managed "safely and effectively" by a family doctor.


I don't think you have anything to be embarrased about. A cold or the flu lasts for a few days, not months. Maybe your daughter (hopefully) will get better on her own really soon but with everything that has been going on with her, I think you did the right thing. The doctor you had to deal with may have been having a bad day but saying they don't treat sick kids if they've been sick for a long time is ridiculous.

I hope it all works out and she is fine and if so, you should still not be embarrased. Good luck

[Van]

I would have gone to hospital too as it is hard to be a worried parent and do our job of caring for other children, but it is upsetting to know that the dr was extremely condescending to you - someone should teach dr to talk to a worried person as I do feel a lot of dr have a superior attitude about themselves in general