Too Many Choices for Toddler = Power Struggle?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, that's a good point playfelt and flowerchild. It's normal to change our minds but when it's becoming an issue and causing bad behaviour, than it needs to be dealt with. Once he's voiced his decision, mom needs to stick to it.

[Lee-Bee]

I agree with playfelt...but it is also on the parent to know WHEN to offer choices. At the end of a busy day, when mom just got back might not be the time to offer up choices. If they are changing their minds, and melting down each day that is a sign to stop offering so many choices and just get the kid out the door.

We used to let me 2 year old pick which colour dental flosser to use each night (3 colours to choose from). We quickly realized this was not wise as she would change her mind and melt down when we refused to let her change her mind and then she would be going to bet a complete melt down mess each night (because she was tired had had lower coping skills). Those flossers got put away and now she gets a good old boring white one. No more melt downs, because we reigned in the controls so she can't change her mind and flip out when she doesn't get her way.

Choices throughout the day are good, but it can't be when the child cannot handle the choice and it can't be something that they don't actually have control over (what time they get picked up). Kids just don't need that kind of power...they needs adults that are in control.

My main choice I offer my daughter these days (26months) is 'you do it or I will do it for you'. She HATES having things done for her so that kicks her into gear to do it before it is done for her, gives her just enough control to decide to do it for herself but doesn't give her the option of stalling or not getting it done (putting shoes on, getting in her chair on her own). Obviously this only works for a child that wants to do things on their own, or you'd end up with a lazy child that has everything done for them!!