Looking for some opinions on toilet training

[bright sparks]

His age is a huge factor too in that this can not be put off, but unfortunately going cold turkey and just dealing with it means we can't go anywhere or do anything beyond free play.

[Lee-Bee]

Sounds like you have quite the challenge ahead of you!

I know from experience with my daughter (26months) that if they don't pee often it is soooo much harder! There were so many days I wished the kid would just pee all over! Waiting, hoping she would pee on her favorite animals or blankie so I could make a big production out of it having to go in the wash. But if they only pee every 3,4,5+ hrs that lesson just doesn't come!

Can you have him in the thicker underwear so he still gets wet, but it absorbs more so less mess for you? Again, won't help much if he is not clueing in.

Would he respond if you took the toy he is playing with away if he pees? For my daughter I started putting anything she was playing with on the washing machine when she peed. Even if it was not wet, it was "dirty" and had to be washed because she peed while playing with it. This just brought home the message that it is indeed better to run to the potty and come back to your toy, instead of peeing with the toy and having it put away to be washed.

The only other thing I can think of is when you notice him starting to pee point out that he is peeing. Maybe (with lots of time) he will start to register it (if he has any sensation while peeing, which he may not).

Hope he progresses, and it isn't too long and painful on your end :-(

[Lee-Bee]

It is also worth noting that it is not on you to have him toilet trained before school starts. Make sure you aren't feeling that pressure! There are many kids in the school system with special needs that are not toilet trained. It comes with having special needs, it is not a sign of you failing or anything!

Do as much as you can...but keep in mind that it just may not happen and that doesn't in any way reflect on your quality of care!!!

[bright sparks]

It is also worth noting that it is not on you to have him toilet trained before school starts. Make sure you aren't feeling that pressure! There are many kids in the school system with special needs that are not toilet trained. It comes with having special needs, it is not a sign of you failing or anything!

Do as much as you can...but keep in mind that it just may not happen and that doesn't in any way reflect on your quality of care!!!

Thank you Lee-Bee, I appreciate those kind words. I did call the public school board and just asked them about toilet training. If there is a possible special need then they will accept the child and assess the childs needs with the hopes of assigning an EA to that child. That being said, it is at the principals discretion based on a no doubt short and likely useless meeting in the hallways with the child and parent that wouldn't give enough opportunity to really see this child's issues. So many people are judgemental an put it down to lazy parenting why a child isn't trained. I am going to pass this info onto Nana and hopefully that will encourage her to register him asap.

[kindertime]

I think, perhaps the best advice for you at this time is to wait for him to be assessed. You will only be with him for another few weeks. It does sound to me like your suspicions are right (or close.) He isn't "feeling" the sensation. Either when peeing or when having to pee. And he also have eating issue still. I would guess they are all linked. The way you descibe him, he actually sounds like a very sweet boy. And if you aren't having any issues with defiance or tantrums, then I am thinking that likely he won't be able to make much progress until the proper interventions are made.

I am not familliar with ROCK, but if Nana is willing to pursue interventions with professionals, then I think that is going to be the best thing for him.

I should also mention too that if I ask him if he has gone pee, he nearly always says yes, even though he hasn't. I wonder if in his brain he interprets it as "have you finished" Also on Monday when he first started here, another little guy peed, huge fluke as I am not training him and he is not ready, so he got a sticker as a reward. 3.5dcb didn't understand why he didn't get one even though I explained over and over. It's again as though his brain has interpreted going to the toilet or potty as sitting on it, not actually doing something.

I think this is maybe where you could focus your attention. Perhaps change your language a bit. Don't say "go pee" when he is going into the bathroom, only use that word for the actual action of peeing. Use "Sit on the potty" instead.

I never train boys standing up. Had one once who was already trained when he started with me and I had a yellow ring around the toilet every day. AHHH! But... in this case, might that help? He is surrounded by women, you, Nana, and no dad so maybe if he stood, holding himself, it might trigger something. (Could also be a disaster.)

I wish you the best of luck.

[bright sparks]

I think, perhaps the best advice for you at this time is to wait for him to be assessed. You will only be with him for another few weeks. It does sound to me like your suspicions are right (or close.) He isn't "feeling" the sensation. Either when peeing or when having to pee. And he also have eating issue still. I would guess they are all linked. The way you descibe him, he actually sounds like a very sweet boy. And if you aren't having any issues with defiance or tantrums, then I am thinking that likely he won't be able to make much progress until the proper interventions are made.

I am not familliar with ROCK, but if Nana is willing to pursue interventions with professionals, then I think that is going to be the best thing for him.




I think this is maybe where you could focus your attention. Perhaps change your language a bit. Don't say "go pee" when he is going into the bathroom, only use that word for the actual action of peeing. Use "Sit on the potty" instead.

I never train boys standing up. Had one once who was already trained when he started with me and I had a yellow ring around the toilet every day. AHHH! But... in this case, might that help? He is surrounded by women, you, Nana, and no dad so maybe if he stood, holding himself, it might trigger something. (Could also be a disaster.)

I wish you the best of luck.

ROCK is Reach out centre for kids, formerly Ontario Early Years Centre.

I am going to try that today...I will ask him to sit on the potty and then once he has say now it's time to go pee in the potty. Maybe breaking it down into separate steps will help.

Nana plans to go to school today and speak to the principal about registering him and mention that he may have some delays which are preventing him from toilet training. She will not go back to diapers, so I am hoping he improves, because there is no way I can base my entire program around a child who gives no cues for his toileting needs in addition to not being able to condition him by putting him on the potty when I want to have him pee because he just wont pee.

Each day is a new day, and maybe today will be the day!

[Lee-Bee]

I know it sounds really weird but can you maybe have the other kids use the potty and take a picture of their pee and poop in the potty he will use? Without the kids seeing, last thing you need is them seeing you take pictures of poop lol. But having pictures of sitting on the potty and then having pictures of something IN the potty. Make a photo board with the sequence. Point to it as he progresses though the steps. It seems odd to us, but to a child with delays being very very clear and concrete is best. So a picture of fake pee and poop in a potty may not be as informative.

It is still a long shot, you've mentioned he watches others and knows what it's all about so it might not be the most useful tool. BUT, there's a chance. The peeing doll would be helpful too. As the doll pees point to the picture chart and verbalize the steps the doll is doing.

Good luck!!

[monkeys]

There is a boy doll who pees on the potty. You give him some water from a bottle and then he pees. I don't remember the name of it, but i think we found them at toys r us.

Trying to get a picture of a child peeing is not the best, someone may take it the wrong way. I have encouraged dads to take their sons to the bathroom to watch them pee. The child looks up to dad and want to do what dad does.

Sometimes children with delays will take a lot longer to toilet train, but still the majority will get trained. it feels daunting at times, but then they surprise you and its worth all the extra work.

[bright sparks]

There is a boy doll who pees on the potty. You give him some water from a bottle and then he pees. I don't remember the name of it, but i think we found them at toys r us.

Trying to get a picture of a child peeing is not the best, someone may take it the wrong way. I have encouraged dads to take their sons to the bathroom to watch them pee. The child looks up to dad and want to do what dad does.

Sometimes children with delays will take a lot longer to toilet train, but still the majority will get trained. it feels daunting at times, but then they surprise you and its worth all the extra work.

Just to be clear, I would never try to get a picture of anyone peeing lol hence why it would be difficult to get a picture showing the difference between sitting on the toilet and actually doing something on the toilet. As I said in previous posts too, this kid goes to the bathroom with many adults in his household including his pops and understands how this toileting works. I love the sound of the doll. I'm going to look into that today!

[kindertime]

I don't know how much extra reading you want to do, but if you're interested, check out this site.

http://spdfoundation.net/

Sensory Processing Disorder might be a possibility. The site has a checklist and red flags for the disorder.