Looking for some opinions on toilet training

[Lee-Bee]

It is also worth noting that it is not on you to have him toilet trained before school starts. Make sure you aren't feeling that pressure! There are many kids in the school system with special needs that are not toilet trained. It comes with having special needs, it is not a sign of you failing or anything!

Do as much as you can...but keep in mind that it just may not happen and that doesn't in any way reflect on your quality of care!!!

[bright sparks]

It is also worth noting that it is not on you to have him toilet trained before school starts. Make sure you aren't feeling that pressure! There are many kids in the school system with special needs that are not toilet trained. It comes with having special needs, it is not a sign of you failing or anything!

Do as much as you can...but keep in mind that it just may not happen and that doesn't in any way reflect on your quality of care!!!

Thank you Lee-Bee, I appreciate those kind words. I did call the public school board and just asked them about toilet training. If there is a possible special need then they will accept the child and assess the childs needs with the hopes of assigning an EA to that child. That being said, it is at the principals discretion based on a no doubt short and likely useless meeting in the hallways with the child and parent that wouldn't give enough opportunity to really see this child's issues. So many people are judgemental an put it down to lazy parenting why a child isn't trained. I am going to pass this info onto Nana and hopefully that will encourage her to register him asap.

[bright sparks]

The pictures if used regularly, can help him. They give him a concrete means as to what is being asked and potentially what he is asking for. Words are not concrete and as soon as we have finished saying them they are gone, the picture would still be there.

His talking even if it is off topic is his way of communticating with everyone, it sounds like he understands that if asked a question he needs to answer. But, his thoughts become jumbled with his thoughts or possibly a question that was asked earlier.

Initially, it would be you giving him the picture and telling him its time to use the potty. It may take a while, but it gives him another tool to use to clearly express his needs.

Using a combination of the ideas given by all, will help. A pull up over underwear, waterproof pants, heavier underwear, putting the toys away to be cleaned if there is an accident, set potty times (I use transitions to new activity times, school run, meals, outside play, etc.,) and pictures, are all great ideas. Toilet training is hard for some children, they need more time and effort one our end to help with their success.

I wish you luck, this sound like a tough one.

Thanks for this...I do like using pictures for cues and have worked with autistic kids outside of daycare who used them and it was huge success. That being said, my issue isn't getting him to go on the potty or to the toilet. We have also all looked at another boys pee in the potty...don't judge me I told you I was trying lol, he has seen his grandparents go and other kids go. He will go to the toilet when requested but will not go pee. How do I get a picture depicting a child "actually" peeing?? Also he will always say, okay I'll try, or okay I'll make a pee, and when I ask him if he went pee, he will say yes when he hasn't. Those things are not going to change based on a picture of a child peeing. I need him to have a pee, so a picture of going to sit on a toilet or potty are not the problem as he already does that. Also with no cues whatsoever, it's really hard for me to catch him peeing, and when he does pee, he doesn't change his reactions but just carries on as though its not even there.

Also, if there is a special need, the not peeing is a symptom, and the actual cause is what needs to be addressed in order to gain success in his toileting. If this is the case, it would be unlikely that any amount of verbal or visual cues from me will have any success....don't mean to be a pessimist, but it is hard to really explain the extent of this situation without actually seeing it for yourself.

[ebhappydc]

Just two cents here... Would signing help as opposed to verbal? I've heard kids can clue into signing easier than verbal at times.
Also, if you need him to pee, is he a good drinker? I've encouraged a child in training to drink a fair bit (fave juice watered down) and then I set a timer for myself of about 45 min as that's how long takes for a cup or so to start putting pressure on bladder (remember baby ultrasound days!?). At the timer, I'd watch for any sign of discomfort, fidgeting, and I'd talk about feeling so much more comfortable with an empty bladder. I'd pointed to where his bladder was just below his tummy. Did over the course of many days as we can't get them to drink too much! He's lucky with all the effort and research you're doing; going above and beyond for him.

[bright sparks]

Just two cents here... Would signing help as opposed to verbal? I've heard kids can clue into signing easier than verbal at times.
Also, if you need him to pee, is he a good drinker? I've encouraged a child in training to drink a fair bit (fave juice watered down) and then I set a timer for myself of about 45 min as that's how long takes for a cup or so to start putting pressure on bladder (remember baby ultrasound days!?). At the timer, I'd watch for any sign of discomfort, fidgeting, and I'd talk about feeling so much more comfortable with an empty bladder. I'd pointed to where his bladder was just below his tummy. Did over the course of many days as we can't get them to drink too much! He's lucky with all the effort and research you're doing; going above and beyond for him.

I know of some people who promote pushing more fluids during toilet training but I have never been a big fan. That being said, in this case some encouragement physically to have him pee sounds like it might be an idea. I'm going to try that tomorrow. He is napping now and goes home within 30 minutes of waking.

[ebhappydc]

I know of some people who promote pushing more fluids during toilet training but I have never been a big fan. That being said, in this case some encouragement physically to have him pee sounds like it might be an idea. I'm going to try that tomorrow. He is napping now and goes home within 30 minutes of waking.

For sure, only if they wanted to drink then it worked for me. During training I found they'd drink more with juice than water, and I'm not keen on the sugar, but parents were on board as it was temporary. Much luck tomorrow.

[kindertime]

I think, perhaps the best advice for you at this time is to wait for him to be assessed. You will only be with him for another few weeks. It does sound to me like your suspicions are right (or close.) He isn't "feeling" the sensation. Either when peeing or when having to pee. And he also have eating issue still. I would guess they are all linked. The way you descibe him, he actually sounds like a very sweet boy. And if you aren't having any issues with defiance or tantrums, then I am thinking that likely he won't be able to make much progress until the proper interventions are made.

I am not familliar with ROCK, but if Nana is willing to pursue interventions with professionals, then I think that is going to be the best thing for him.

I should also mention too that if I ask him if he has gone pee, he nearly always says yes, even though he hasn't. I wonder if in his brain he interprets it as "have you finished" Also on Monday when he first started here, another little guy peed, huge fluke as I am not training him and he is not ready, so he got a sticker as a reward. 3.5dcb didn't understand why he didn't get one even though I explained over and over. It's again as though his brain has interpreted going to the toilet or potty as sitting on it, not actually doing something.

I think this is maybe where you could focus your attention. Perhaps change your language a bit. Don't say "go pee" when he is going into the bathroom, only use that word for the actual action of peeing. Use "Sit on the potty" instead.

I never train boys standing up. Had one once who was already trained when he started with me and I had a yellow ring around the toilet every day. AHHH! But... in this case, might that help? He is surrounded by women, you, Nana, and no dad so maybe if he stood, holding himself, it might trigger something. (Could also be a disaster.)

I wish you the best of luck.

[monkeys]

There is a boy doll who pees on the potty. You give him some water from a bottle and then he pees. I don't remember the name of it, but i think we found them at toys r us.

Trying to get a picture of a child peeing is not the best, someone may take it the wrong way. I have encouraged dads to take their sons to the bathroom to watch them pee. The child looks up to dad and want to do what dad does.

Sometimes children with delays will take a lot longer to toilet train, but still the majority will get trained. it feels daunting at times, but then they surprise you and its worth all the extra work.

[kindertime]

I don't know how much extra reading you want to do, but if you're interested, check out this site.

http://spdfoundation.net/

Sensory Processing Disorder might be a possibility. The site has a checklist and red flags for the disorder.

[bright sparks]

I don't know how much extra reading you want to do, but if you're interested, check out this site.

http://spdfoundation.net/

Sensory Processing Disorder might be a possibility. The site has a checklist and red flags for the disorder.

Thanks for sharing this kindertime. I did read this and while he has a few red flags, most of the things go unchecked. Also seems like most symptoms for a lot of spectrum diagnoses.