I'm not sure this is the right place to be posting, I just really need some help! lol

[Lee-Bee]

I have had her for 2 years. This has been a problem since she was in diapers. I would have to tape the tabs on her diaper down so she couldn't take it off at naptime, on many occasions i would check on her and she would be covered in poop.
I helped potty train her....i have helped potty train many kids, including my son, who was trained in 2 days. Understanding every child is different, but this is out of control. They just stopped packing pull ups. I remind and remind them and they would forget and i suppose i just gave up? It feels pretty defeating sometimes. There have been nights where i just cry because i feel like I'm failing this child.
i know i sound stupid. I know i am being taken advantage of. But for some reason i keep thinking i can fix the problem.

I know the vast majority of us enter the field of childcare to give our all to the children but ultimately we NEED to put ourselves first, then our families THEN our daycare families. If we put the daycare families first then we start to wear down and no one benefits.

Sometime the best fix for this time of problem, what may be best for that child long run is to terminate. It may be a bit of a reality check for that family who will have to kick it into high gear, find a new daycare and put their own effort into training the child. Long term...this benefits the child more than you bearing the burden of trying to pick up the pieces behind a family that is being disrespectful.

Set your emotions aside and figure out what is best for YOU here...and that will end up being what is best for all your daycare families, including this child.

[Van]

I agree with Lee-Bee We don't have to fix every child sometimes we have to think of ourselves first or we be no good to our family and clients- put in an ad and get a new child and let this family go because of the lack of respect and no pull-up , you won't believe the difference in your self, and your day will be so much easier and your own family will love the new you as you won't feel so defeated. let the toilet training be the parents worry for a change

[bright sparks]

You aren't letting the child down, her parents are. By accepting the child into your daycare without a pull up which she undoubtedly needs, and having done this repeatedly, there is no incentive for the parents to meet your request. If you absolutely want to try for the child's sake,you need to get in touch with this family over the weekend. Not text or email, a phone call where you can exchange dialogue. Do not ask ther parents to do anything, that implies a choice, tell them that Monday morning she must arrive in a pull up and with additional pull ups. Make it very clear to them that should this not happen on Monday, or any other day for that matter, she will be turned away. If they try to pull a fast one and drop her off and say "oh I forgot. I'll nip and get them now and be back in 5" I call BS! Do not allow them to do that with their track record. Chances are they wont bring them and you'll have allowed them to take control of the situation by not following your rules. Once she is back in pull ups permanently and consistently, you will be able to work on her other issues easier without the whole toileting obstacles. This is the only chance you have of gaining back control and calling the shots with this family and with your business. Should they choice to try and disrespect you again by not doing as they are told, essentially, then make absolutely sure you give them notice. If you do not back up what you say, then it won't be at all surprising should they continue to not give a toss what you want and keep marching to the beat of their own drum. Rest assured though, you are going above and beyond in your role as caregiver to this child and no matter how hard you work, if they refuse to get on board 100%, you are fighting a losing battle. Shame on them!

[mickyc]

It sounds as though you do not have a firm potty training guide in place. I do not allow the switch from pull-ups to panties until there has been 2 weeks accident free. My policy also states that in the event there are multiple accidents I reserve the right to put child back in pull-ups. It also states that not to send child in underwear until I approve it!!!! This is my home and I have invested a lot of money into my daycare and home and certainly not about to allow a child to poop and pee all over the place just because mom is too lazy to send pull-ups.

My contract also states failure to follow my policies may result in termination. If your contract doesn't have these in place I strongly suggest you add them.

You need to get tough with this family and demand pull-ups as well as respect for your rules!

[Crayola kiddies]

Ok, friends.....I JUST found at lastnight that she wears pull ups at home!!!! No wonder she doesn't have accidents at home!!!!!!!!!!! Can I pull all my hair out, now?!?! Why? Why knowing she has to be in pull ups all day at home would you send her here without them?!?! Am I taking crazy pills?!?!

...... Ummmm...... NEXT.....

[monkey25]

They forgot the pull ups.....i told them i needed them, and they were all 'we will be late for work'' they brought me one, and told me we are going to have to talk abot this later. How are they mad at me?! I don't get it. After 2 years, i think i deserve some respect.

[Lee-Bee]

They forgot the pull ups.....i told them i needed them, and they were all 'we will be late for work'' they brought me one, and told me we are going to have to talk abot this later. How are they mad at me?! I don't get it. After 2 years, i think i deserve some respect.

I am so sorry to hear this. Would you be able to fill this spot quickly? I personally would have a letter of termination in hand at end of day...with today being the last day of care. I can't help but feel like they would make the next 2 weeks miserable if you gave 2 weeks. They are not treating you with respect they view themselves as calling the shots and it will not be an easy task to change their view. Personally I would have had enough of them and be done.

[bright sparks]

I am so sorry to hear this. Would you be able to fill this spot quickly? I personally would have a letter of termination in hand at end of day...with today being the last day of care. I can't help but feel like they would make the next 2 weeks miserable if you gave 2 weeks. They are not treating you with respect they view themselves as calling the shots and it will not be an easy task to change their view. Personally I would have had enough of them and be done.

I agree...the we need to talk comment makes me think that they think this is something up for negotiation and in all likelihood they will try to over rule you with their reasoning which I also wouldn't trust given the fact that they have kept things from you in the past. At the very least have a letter ready for them should things go further south at pick up.

[Lee-Bee]

If you do decide to keep them on. I would have them bring a case of pull ups tonight. Not in the morning as you risk this same scenario. They bring it tonight a case big enough to last a few weeks. Clearly providing a day to day supply is not working.

But, frankly, I think they have burnt their bridges here and just need to be let go.

[monkey25]

Would I give them their cheque for the month back? They don't pay on the 1st of the month, because they "couldn't" so , I made their fees due on the 20th of the month.
I was thinking of giving them a months notice, just because I feel like if I am too tough, it will somehow come back to bite me on the butt.