My "handful"

[torontokids]

My handful is still challenging and I have dreamed of discharging him but its just not practical. Plus he has a lot of redeeming qualities and I like his parents...he is just so much work and I feel like I am always redirecting his behaviour.

He was away yesterday as he had had a mild fever on the Sun. Today he is a mess. He is hitting (myself included one time when I told him "no") and just generally being difficult. The hitting is really only a swat of sorts but of course it is still not OK. He goes on an immediate time out for any hitting, kicking. His parents are on board with dealing with the bad behaviours and I definitely see improvements when i am specific about the challenges to them. E.g. a couple of weeks a go he went through a "hitting phase" working with the parents it was nipped in the bud quickly and stopped all together. Today is the first day this has happened since the behaviour was stopped previously so I am hoping that being consistent with his consequences will get him turned around again.

I am going to start tracking his behaviours to look for more patterns. Any other suggestions? How do I talk to the parents about this without off loading everything onto them (which I could very well do after the morning I had). Thanks!

[Lee-Bee]

How is his sleep and eating right now?

My daughter (2yrs) is a very bright, happy and 'good' kid but if she is lacking in sleep (even just a bit), has missed a meal or is feeling unwell she has ZERO coping skills and is meltdown central...including hitting. It is NOT that she is undisciplined or a terror. She just completely loses any ability to control herself.

The best thing I can do is stay on top of sleep and food. When I know those are lacking then I need to remind myself to be a tad more gentle and forgiving. Obviously it isn't a free pass to be hitting or flipping out...but generally I am rather firm when it comes to such behaviors and if I know she is overtired or hungry then I will be a bit more forgiving and try to give extra hugs to help her cope until I can get her rested with a full belly.

If this is the case for your DCB then being firm should help get him back on track and when he is feeling 100% the hitting will quite possible stop.

As for the parents...just give them a gentle debriefing. He is hitting again, you are tackling it in this manner, you hope that with a good nights rest he is back on track. I wouldn't get too detailed after one day...it is quite likely related to him having been unwell and tomorrow may be much smoother in which case you did a big spiel for no reason. Make note of it, if the behaviors continue then have the parents crack down again!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

There one little boy here who not good if not had good sleep. When on growth spurt, he need more sleep otherwise he get frustrated due to tired and that when he play up and push rules. Parent very good and communicate and tackles issue consistent. But it is challenging.

[Van]

I am losing my 'Handful' next week and I had him since he was 11 months and I will miss him so much after all the work I did with him to help him along the way - the more work we put into them the more we love them