Quote Originally Posted by Lee-Bee View Post
I have nothing against AP and used a fair amount of the AP approach with our daughter. I do believe, and have stated this before, that there is a strong difference between AP and parenting in a manner that means never saying no, never setting a limit and never letting a child whimper. But I won't go into my rant on that!

Sadly talking to the parents will not help matters. I am still trying to point out that letting their child get only 7 hours of sleep in a day is not in the child's best interest and that the child may sleep more if getting out of bed for more snacks and more Netflix isn't an option every evening until 11pm when mom finally goes to bed with the child. She still only naps in the car or being rocked for them because she was never taught how to lie down and sleep. But, mom doesn't like the child crying and mom doesn't set limits (as in it is bedtime you need to stay in bed). Telling her to not carry the child around, or make the child go play on her own when the child doesn't want to is just not going to happen. It is not worth approaching because I already try to nudge on the sleep front because I know how much the child needs to sleep.

This is why I am trying to find out if this is normal...if this is related to home's approach or if it is child specific and I can somehow help on my end. I am not bashing AP parenting. I am trying to find out if this is related to it or if this is of concern or not so I know how to approach it on my end!
I'm not sure if you are going to find a clear answer. To find out if something is "normal" is really difficult. Normal as a generalization, I'd say no, but I think it's a foolish guess given that I don't know this child and haven't observed them. You know this child so I'd go with what you see as the norm. I think most kids are able to play independently at this age at least on some scale allowing for variances in personality type and parenting style used at home, and I do think the parenting style you just described is likely the cause at least for the most part. It may simply be something this child grows out of, most likely to be honest, and AP really doesn't have anything to do with it in my opinion. Just what you described in your last post doesn't really mesh with AP principals regardless of my opinion of the parenting style. Sounds like maybe they have created some of this issues at first with clingy parenting/hip baby/oversensitive response to needs and excessive pacifying, and now don't want the headache of correcting the behaviour so continue to pacify her.

Can't imagine there is much you can do to help given the extremes that are happening at home. Normal is never a word I use. Even on a scale of "norm" to establish if a child is on track with developmental milestones is no longer proving useful. Kids are changing at a rapid rate from this generation to the last and I find more and more kids are breaking from this out of date "norm" standard currently in place. I have had kids scream many symptoms of being on the spectrum with numerous delays and it has turned out to be a product of circumstance and how they are nurtured at home, not an actual developmental delay which has gradually rectified once in school, not without repercussions I'm sure. Nature vs Nurture maybe....this is a tricky situation to be in to be able to help the child. Good Luck