Care free play

[bright sparks]

I have nothing against AP and used a fair amount of the AP approach with our daughter. I do believe, and have stated this before, that there is a strong difference between AP and parenting in a manner that means never saying no, never setting a limit and never letting a child whimper. But I won't go into my rant on that!

Sadly talking to the parents will not help matters. I am still trying to point out that letting their child get only 7 hours of sleep in a day is not in the child's best interest and that the child may sleep more if getting out of bed for more snacks and more Netflix isn't an option every evening until 11pm when mom finally goes to bed with the child. She still only naps in the car or being rocked for them because she was never taught how to lie down and sleep. But, mom doesn't like the child crying and mom doesn't set limits (as in it is bedtime you need to stay in bed). Telling her to not carry the child around, or make the child go play on her own when the child doesn't want to is just not going to happen. It is not worth approaching because I already try to nudge on the sleep front because I know how much the child needs to sleep.

This is why I am trying to find out if this is normal...if this is related to home's approach or if it is child specific and I can somehow help on my end. I am not bashing AP parenting. I am trying to find out if this is related to it or if this is of concern or not so I know how to approach it on my end!

BTW, I wasn't implying you had anything against AP or were bashing them. It was more with respect to babydoms comments about an AP child having the inability to be independent...or something along those lines... which is a common misconception and is not actually the case. It's more a reflection of how AP is carried out and I still stand firm that many people don't choose AP and do their research to make it a healthy parenting style, but use it as an excuse for pacifying their child and being lazy...yes that is right, I said it lol

[Lee-Bee]

BTW, I wasn't implying you had anything against AP or were bashing them. It was more with respect to babydoms comments about an AP child having the inability to be independent...or something along those lines... which is a common misconception and is not actually the case. It's more a reflection of how AP is carried out and I still stand firm that many people don't choose AP and do their research to make it a healthy parenting style, but use it as an excuse for pacifying their child and being lazy...yes that is right, I said it lol

You said it...I think it and see it all the time! I do believe that AP can be great...but I don't know that I ever really see it in action how it was meant to be. The variations of what I see are what you describe (ever so eloquently) and it does bother me as they call it AP, giving AP a bad rap.

Anywyas...my post wasn't really about 'AP' but I did put it in there as I wanted to know if others were finding the same with their families that practice AP. Clearly they are as I've yet to say their AP children are able to play easily on their own. In which case I will just continue on as is and hope that with more and more time free play will start to come naturally.

I totally understand the dislike of the word 'normal' and that is why I usually put it in quotes. There is no normal when it comes to people, especially children but I just use it to get my question across...'typical' 'average' 'acceptable' any of those words can kind of be used as well. Basically should I be concerned with the lack of play at this age or not! I don't want to just wait until she is 4 and going off to school to realize there were some big red flags I didn't try to help address and should have!

She is a great kid and her family loves her dearly. They drive me bonkers with how they do things but what they do at home is up to them, I offer advice when it is asked but otherwise try to keep out of it. It is up to me to decide if their way of doing things makes them a poor match for me. So far it doesn't as the child has adapted enough to work with us here. She naps 1.5-2hrs a day and most days begs me to go up to bed hours before nap time as she knows she will get a good nap in and feel better. She is capable of a lot, if the adults around her have the expectations that she can.