Care free play

[Lee-Bee]

I have spent much time giving ideas, tips, trick and suggestions for sleep. Mom has asked for help many times. But, child protests and mom won't push.

Last time I was trying to help was 6 weeks after the time change and mom kept saying how the time change really messed the child up. So we attempted to get her back on track. The next day mom reports that child asked to go to bed at 7pm but it was 9:30 before she finally went down. I was like...ok what did the child do for those 2.5hours between when the child asked to sleep and when she went to sleep. Mom's response "oh, she got up and had more snacks and watched more Netflix we tried a few times in there to get her down" gahhhhhhh. Mom stopped asking for advise after that because I was like. Well, what child would choose to sleep when they have snacks and tv on the offer? I told they had set the routine where the child was allowed out of bed for snacks and tv and that the child would not decide to stop that routine without the mom making it clear bedtime means you go to bed and don't get out of bed until morning. I told her it would not be fun for either of them but without resetting the routine and expectations sleep would not improve.

Sleep has not improved mom has said that while the child is up really late still mom is ok with it because once she is asleep she is so tired she sleeps through till morning with less wake ups than before. So...to mom 7 ish hours of sleep with only 1-2 wake ups is easier than trying to get the child to get a full nights sleep.

There is no hope of making changes. It really, seriously will be up to the child to decide to sleep better later in life. Which is sad. The brain NEEDS sleep to learn. Her brain is not getting the sleep it needs and it WILL negatively impact her long term :-(

But...I can't change that all I can do is provide a good solid nap here.

I suppose this does indeed negatively impact the ability to play.

[flowerchild]

I have nothing against AP and used a fair amount of the AP approach with our daughter. I do believe, and have stated this before, that there is a strong difference between AP and parenting in a manner that means never saying no, never setting a limit and never letting a child whimper. But I won't go into my rant on that!

This gets a nice, slow clap. Amen, sista!

The poor child. She's probably so tired. Sleep is SO important. I'm surprised at the sheer number of people who don't value it or will prioritize their own needs over their child's sleep. It's sad really.

With regards to the free play, I would just keep reminding her that she needs to play "I have to make lunch right now. You can play with DD in the living room." and then redirect her back to the living room. Hopefully she'll figure it out. Not seeming to know what to do with trains etc makes me think mom is entertaining her/playing 'at' her instead of playing with her and encouraging the back and forth play. Does that make sense? Like mom plays with the toys and child just watches and enjoys instead of engaging in the play too?

[Lee-Bee]

This gets a nice, slow clap. Amen, sista!

The poor child. She's probably so tired. Sleep is SO important. I'm surprised at the sheer number of people who don't value it or will prioritize their own needs over their child's sleep. It's sad really.

With regards to the free play, I would just keep reminding her that she needs to play "I have to make lunch right now. You can play with DD in the living room." and then redirect her back to the living room. Hopefully she'll figure it out. Not seeming to know what to do with trains etc makes me think mom is entertaining her/playing 'at' her instead of playing with her and encouraging the back and forth play. Does that make sense? Like mom plays with the toys and child just watches and enjoys instead of engaging in the play too?

I know mom does a lot of baking with the child and they do a lot of activities that are great but they are adult directed, adult led and well, just structured. With how often mom says she doesn't play and how much mom talks about the child's favorite tv shows and how they do things I don't believe the child has time or expectation to PLAY. But, the child is here 35ish hours a week and I expect her to play so it isn't just she never gets the chance to play. She has had plenty of time, plenty of encouragement to play it just isn't clicking. She does now understand that she is expected to go play...that is why she comes, tells me what I am doing and that she needs to go play. It is because she has heard me tell her that so many times lol. So, she understands it is expected of her...it just isn't quite there though. In time I hope. I really hope. I would love nothing more than for her to just enjoy playing.

The mom always talks about how much the child LOVES to be outdoors. But, she doesn't do much outdoors she plays on the slide then is done. The child asks me all day to go play outside, when we get outside she asked me to go back in. They spend lots of time at the parks...but they go to 3 parks in one evening (mom is proud of this)!!! Which to me just tells me the child gets bored with the slide so they move to a new one (head shake). So, again it doesn't actually involve the need to play carefree.

Anyways, I guess I'll just continue with the expectation she goes off and plays. I'll continue rotating the toys and having age appropriate toys out. She is drawn to the toys with buttons. we have very few of these as I do not like them but some of our bigger doll houses have sound effect buttons. She will sit and push them. Like I say when she is playing it is at a basic level and just doesn't seem to be for enjoyment.