Sharing my feelings...

[MonkeyPrincess]

I never said i would do home daycare forever. i said i would do it until my youngest was in school full time. That was when i stayed home after the second child, thinking we would have liked to have 3 kids. That would have been about 7/8 yrs home in total. Right now we just have the 2 kids. I went thru a time where i was absolutely done after the second kid and i was ready to pick up and leave and work outside the home. Sometimes i think i would have loved another child but my mental health couldn't handle it then. We moved, then my hubby lost his job, then found a new one with such crappy hours, but we learned to make do but we were both exhausted. He works 12 hour days starting at dumb hours of the morning, and i run the whole house hold, plus the daycare, and do it mostly alone. As time went on and his hours changed a bit and we found ourselves in a good place, we half ass decided we would go for the third kid, i just went off the pill. if it happens, its welcome with open arms, if it doesn't happen, then thats ok too. I also tend to flip flop between "I love working at home, and i will stay for a while longer" and "yeah, I am ready to work outside the home now". Don't get me wrong, i love my daycare kids and i love being home for my kids but with both of them in school full days, i feel like i have outgrown my own daycare.

So last week, my friend told me about a job at her work. good money, decent hours and At a good place. and i really hope i get it. It would work out so well for us, i have already mapped it all out in my head . I applied and have an interview this week. At first i was anxious about all the potential changes but now i am excited for it. I am really hoping I get the job. I wasn't actively looking but its a such a good opportunity, i couldn't pass it up. So if you are the type, please pray for me or send me good luck. It's too good to pass up.

And if that baby thing pans out, thats a whole other story and life will change again....but if i am not preg and i get the job, we will be putting it off for a bit.