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  1. #1
    Euphoric !
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    1st time Pregnancy....ahhh!!! ;)

    This might be a long post...I apologize in advance!! lol

    So about a month ago I went to the doctor's with some symptoms. I seriously just thought it was my B12 low again and I needed another shot. Nope!! Turns out I am pregnant...roughly 2 months right now. I am freaking out a little bit and need to type this all out in hopes that it will take some stress of me and I can start sleeping...haha ya right hey?

    We've told our immediate family and a couple close friends but that is it. I am quite concerned with miscarrying and won't be telling others until the 3 month mark. We tried for 2.5 years but about 6 months ago I kinda just gave up on the idea. I would go back and forth between wanting kids and wanting to be childfree...guess I don't have that option anymore lol.

    So the point of my post.....I have a ton of questions!! Some daycare related and some just pregnancy related. I'd appreciate any and all advice

    1. When is a good time to tell the parents? (I'm fat so I'm thinking I can hide it for awhile lol. We weren't necessarily planning on this so I don't want them to leave early)

    2. How long did you take off after having the baby? Was it too short, too long? Also, did you have a firm end date in mind and how far in advance was it of your due date?

    3. I qualify for EI but I don't think it will be very much. How does it all work?

    4. I take tramacet for back pain and suffer a lot of pain from my arthritis. I am currently weaning off it and going to be taking T3's now. I also take sleeping pills which I am now not. Has anyone else dealt with pain before pregnancy...how did you cope once pregnant? The last couple weeks has SUCKED as my body was going through withdrawal and I am a little (okay a lot) anxious thinking about the the pain to come as the pregnancy goes on

    5. What foods and meds are definite NO NO's when pregnant? (obviously have spoke to my dr about this but still curious. I've been reading a lot lately and something my doctor didn't mention and I hadn't heard of for example was that feta cheese was a no no and it's one of my fav's)

    I'm tentatively due Feb 7th so I was thinking of taking off until at least September. My intention was to close summers starting 2016. I was thinking I could still do this and just play each summer by ear. If I couldn't afford it that year, I'd take on summer only kids but still sign on my ft clients from Sept to June.

    ALSO (just as a side note and because I am so excited), my best friend is pregnant and due Feb 3rd!!! I think I'm more excited for her than I am for me lol. She will be taking a year off and I kinda think once we start our mat leave, I won't want to go back early lol. We are very much alike so I am super glad that we are doing this together as we have very similar fears haha.

    Any other suggestions/advice/tips are more than welcome!!

  2. #2
    Expansive... Other Mummy's Avatar
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    CONGRATULATIONS 5LM!!!!!

    I'm so happy for you!!

    1) I would tell my clients around the 5th month mark. summer is here, so by the time Fall comes you'll be showing more, but also wearing looser clothes (sweatshirts) so no need to tell them any sooner.

    2) I took a year off with each of my children, but I was also working in the marketing field and not working for myself. If I took mat. leave today, I would probably take 2 months.

    3) If you are paying into EI than you can apply for it. Otherwise, I don't think we qualify as ICP's. I would set aside some money every week and budget for the time that you will be closed.

    4). The first trimester I was always exhausted. Seeing as you have a back pain history I would definitely be talking to my OB about what is safe to take whilst pregnant. Perhaps, massages, or chiro treatments?

    5) I remember not being able to eat soft unpasturized cheeses (feta included) Other than that....I don't think I stayed away from anything (except alcohol of course and too much coffee)

    Enjoy the wonderful changes of pregnancy. Some of miraculous and some not so much LOL.

    Congratulations again. Keep us posted on how you are doing. So exciting!!!

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    First off...Breathe!

    Congrats! I am so happy for you. I am due at the end of Feb so we can gripe together!

    I also have issues with pain. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I am on a lot of heavy duty meds. My pregnancies shave all been planned as they needed to be because I can't actually conceive on one of my medications. With my first pregnancy, I went off the hardest meds while we prepared to conceive. I was in desperate pain and I was eventually referred to a specialist who specializes in auto immune diseases and pregnancy. I didn't know such people existed but he literally enabled me to have kids but he made the process enjoyable for me. He put me on better meds that were also safe for a fetus. Not sure what kind of arthritis you have but with auto immune diseases your symptoms often go into remission during pregnancy so I actually LOVE being pregnant for that reason, heh heh.

    As for time off from daycare. My plan at the moment is to close for the year. I am not sure I will reopen however I have never felt comfortable with my kids in daycare so unless we win the lottery I will probably reopen. I know a lot of women on here will close for 6 wks and have their husbands take Pat leave to help with the baby and the daycare. I want to enjoy the time off with my baby and my 3 y.o.

    Re: food to stay away from: unpasteurized cheese and milk, cold cuts, hot dogs, raw eggs. Basically the things that put you at greater risk of listeria. Usually the first baby you may restrict everything. By your second or third you tend to lighten up and realize that women in France get pregnant and continue to eat Brie so it is probably fine.

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
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    I am currently figuring out when to tell my DCP. I am for sure waiting until September but may wait longer. I don't want people to feel deceived but I also don't want them to leave!

    I am very tall so the baby weight spreads out on me at least, heh heh

  5. #5
    Euphoric !
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    Thanks I think I am still processing the fact that I'm even pregnant lol. I wondered if we were close TOkids! I've had troubles sleeping for almost 12 years and it's been a good 6-8 years since I've slept for longer than 3-4 hours at a time but I am EXHAUSTED!!! I'm not a fan of all day free play but that's what we've been doing for longer than I want to admit Thank goodness I have great dck's who enjoy it and are enjoying the movie every morning while we lay down and cuddle lol. I have almost all day nausea but have only thrown up once thank goodness. Cramps after I eat and especially in the evenings are driving me crazy. I just want the 2nd trimester to get here and hopefully feel better! How have you been feeling TOkids??

    For EI, I've paid into it for about 2 years but I'm worried it will be pointless now. It sounds like they pay based on your total after deductions right? I was able to get mine down really low this year (like either 7 or 9 grand so it will be peanuts) but I'll still take it lol. My husband is off summers already so I'm not sure if he will take any extra time off. Spring Break will be a month and a bit after I'm due I think so that will be nice. He works evenings so at least I can nap during the day if needed. (that's already started lol) I've been trying to set aside money for summers off myself but that will now go towards my mat leave. We can most likely do a year off for me on just my husband's wage but it will be tight. We have very limited debt and monthly expenses but there won't be any extras for awhile!! We are wanting to move to a bigger home but that will wait until I'm back to work FT.

    TOkids, I remember you saying something about how your body will not get pregnant if your in pain. I had a cortisone shot not long before I got pregnant and I wonder if that had something to do with it!! The good thing is that I have my family doctor plus a pain specialist doctor so hopefully that will all help throughout the pregnancy! My pharmacist is also amazing and is so supportive and informative. I have a lot of great doctors and nurses that I've dealt with now for quite some time who know all about my pain history so that's comforting. My family doctor mentioned that I might actually feel less pain being pregnant so let's hope she's right!! I have OA in my lower back and a bulging disc. The pain as of lately has been my hips though. I do some rolling with my foam roller and yoga stretches before bed and that seems to help a bit right now. I am still seeing my chiropractor as well.

    I think having my friend on mat leave at the same time will make me want to stay off longer. I couldn't do just 6 weeks I think. 2 of my 4 dck's are leaving for kindergarten next year anyways so I'm really only losing the other 2 families. My friends child will come here when she's done mat leave so that leaves me looking for only 2 families which is kinda nice.

    Ah the food....I am already craving the "bad" stuff and it's things I don't normally eat otherwise!!! McDonald's chicken nuggets and balogna have been the top 2 for 2 weeks already. I know I need to stop...However, my tastebuds towards fruit has changed and I'm eating a lot more than I normally did and I'm eating fruit I never liked before!

    I feel the same way as you TOkids...I don't want them to feel rushed to find other dc but I also don't want them to leave too early as I'm counting on that income. If they leave early I will just have to find a short term replacement I guess....easier said than done though! Who wants a daycare for just a couple of months??

  6. #6
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    I have been following this forum for a long while now! I have read in previous posts that you didn't have children and you choose to do daycare for other reasons. When I saw the title I totally thought it was you and screamed out oh my god 5 little moneys is pregnant!! My husband turned around like what the hell is wrong with you hahaha. Congrats I am so so so happy for you!! You seem like a very sweet person so I am sure you will be an amazing mom! I adopted all of my children so I cant really give too much insight on the experience lol

  7. #7
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    Congratulations, best of luck to you and your husband!

  8. #8
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    Congratulations!! That is such wonderful news!!

    I am due with #4 in a few weeks. Regarding EI, you're right, they calculate it based on income after deductions - and you only get 55% of that. For me, there is no way that would be enough. We really need to be a 2-income household, even though my husband makes considerably more than I do. So for us, I am using my vacation time as a mini-mat leave (3 weeks), then having my husband take some vacation time to be home, then having my mother come to stay for 10 days after he goes back to work. She leaves at the end of the summer, and I'll only have a few days left of summer holidays with all my older kids before school goes back in.

    Then again, this is my fourth baby, and by this point they just kind of fit into our routine. For a first baby, I'd be much more inclined to take time off, especially your husband's income is enough. Keep in mind that once you make an EI claim, you have to continue paying into it for the rest of the time you are self-employed. As long as you are ok with that, I'd say go for it and take the year off if you can afford it. Having your friend due at the same time is perfect, because mat leave can be extremely isolating.

    I told the family I have had the longest at about 3 months. By that point, she was already suspecting, because I started to show at 7 weeks! I was hoping they would stay, and they have been wonderful. If you are closing, I'd hold off telling them as long as possible. You don't want them all to find other care months ahead of time and leave you in the lurch with no income. How long are you planning on working before going on leave? You can go on EI a full 8 weeks before your due date, which you may want to consider if pain is going to be a factor. Pregnancy can be pretty painful in and of itself. Hopefully you can find an OB willing to work with you to find medications that are safe for you to take and that still work for you.

    As far as what is safe and not, obviously alcohol is the biggest one. Doctors suggest limiting caffeine, particularly in the first trimester. I have always hated the smell of coffee when pregnant, but had tea throughout this past winter when I was newly pregnant and didn't even think about it - decaf tea is gross, IMO, and the amount of caffeine in one cup of tea is miniscule compared to the amount in a cup of coffee. About a month ago, I found that I can handle coffee-smell again, and I now happily have a cup most days, just no more than one. The rest is centered around the risk of listeria - uncooked eggs (including raw cookie dough), unpasteurized cheeses like brie, and deli meats are generally on the list. I still eat deli meat, I just am smart about it. I buy fresh meat and avoid fast food places with deli meat, like subway, because I have no idea how long that meat has been sitting out, for example. You'll find you have all sorts of weird cravings - fruit was a big one when I was pregnant with both of my girls. You should take a prenatal vitamin containing folic acid, which helps prevent neural tube defects such as spina bifida. If you find one marketed to pregnant women, even a no-name brand, it will have plenty of folic acid. Iron and calcium are also important, so try to up your milk intake. And you gotta give in sometimes to fast food - with my son, alllll I wanted were Wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches. I won't tell you how many times I made my husband stop at Wendy's on the way home - it's embarrassing

    Congratulations again, and best wishes for a boring, uncomplicated pregnancy!

  9. #9
    Expansive...
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    Congratulations!!!!

    IMO....take as much time off as you can afford!!!!!

    I had a full year with my first ( EI from "regular" job). With my second I closed my daycare completely and started from scratch when she was 8 months. Caring for children is exhausting....especi ally your own!!

    If you can't manage a full year you could try stretching it out by taking on part time kids or less kids.

    I told all my families just after 12 weeks. They all stayed on till the bitter end ha ha!

    Best of luck!!

  10. #10
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    Congratulations!!!

    I took 3 weeks off when I had my third (first two were prior to daycare, so 6 mths). My dc kids were older though (3,4 and 5) and my own were 4 and 8. I'd definitely take as much time as you can afford. Mat. leave with your own kids is awesome!!!

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