Bit of an offload from my busy mind...

Haha....Since I gave notice Monday of last week, I have had 12 daycare enquiries lol Isn't it always the way. I can tell how nervous I am about this change, because I haven't taken down any of my adverts or my website, and it pains me to turn down all of these daycare enquiries. I know it's just nerves and I still can't get excited about it which will come in time once I'm at school.

So after having to reply to all the enquiries, I'm going to pull all of my adverts. I go away to Europe for 3 weeks the day after I close so that seems to have my focus. I feel like I should be more frugal given that I have no more cheques to cash and tuition to pay for, but this vacation means that our lifestyle won't altogether change immediately and it will be upon our return home that all of a sudden it will have to be a life or death situation (less dramatically a want vs need situation) when it comes to spending so this side of our trip, it still doesn't feel real.

I've taken a 3rd job on right now in the up run to our trip which is handy in preventing me from going here there and everywhere after work, inevitably spending money. I do the daycare, I'm cleaning 4 days a week, 3 after work for 3 hours each and 1x 6hr day on the weekend covering for a friend while she is away for the month. That is in addition to the data entry I do each week which varies between 10-20 hours. I've never slept so well in my life haha

I plan to house clean while I'm at school, preferably close to campus around class times as it is in a very wealthy neighbourhood in Toronto so I'm hoping it will be a case of higher rate, less hours. Also I'll be carrying on with the data entry as long as it is available through my husbands company. It could stop at any time though.

SO I've been thinking a lot about what I'll NOT miss about daycare, and trying hard to keep my feet on the ground, facing some hard realities of what I'll be giving up and miss the most.

I will NOT miss....

"that" parent lol
"that" kid lol
being isolated
afternoon chronic fatigue
putting car seats in and out of my minivan

I am looking forward to...Having an extra room in the house We are turning the daycare room into a den/media room. It will be the only room on the main floor with a door and we don't have a finished basement. Our kids 12 & 14 watch Netflix in their rooms etc so they now know that there will be a new rule meaning, no media in their rooms. My son has a gaming computer he bought himself coming shortly and that has to be in this room. They will have to negotiate with each other screen time, but there is still the option of main room tv and our bedroom which has a sitting area. I really just want to get them off their beds other than when they are sleeping.

I am also looking forward to leaving the house in the morning and coming home to a "still" tidy house lol
Reduced hydro and water bills
I'm also looking forward to the opportunity to make friends!
And using my brain!
Also hoping that between not having a fridge and pantry to graze all day, and being broke lol, I'll meal prep better and lose some weight. Having to plan my meals around class times and taking it with me every day will hopefully help my waistline.

I am stressed about not being here all the time for my kids. I will be a good 110km away when I am at school. I have trauma induced anxiety around the safety of my kids. It isn't rational and I know it is all together ridiculous, but still exists regardless and I have very little control over how reactive I am. While I'm not looking forward to this, I think it's a great thing and I have faith that this will be a good way for me to overcome this. My kids are more than capable and deep down I know they will be fine. I have my classes crammed into 3 days a week. Only one early start but then I finish earlier, the rest are mid morning starts so not a bad commute and my husband will be home for those days. I may or may not go in an additional day per week for volunteering or clubs within my areas of interest, for social purposes as well as networking

I have mixed feelings about the commute. I don't mind driving in the city. The town I'm from in the UK is busier than Toronto. I also commute to Vaughan currently every Friday. I find it more frustrating sat in traffic that isn't moving, and dealing with moronic drivers who won't give way like it personally offends them, or drive like idiots.

I'm also a bit stressed about my husband stepping up to the plate. I don't want to rip his head off when he doesn't do something right, but it's going to take some patience and time to not let it get to me. I worry that my daughter will take on to much of a replacement role for me because he doesn't. That will piss me off. Lots of learning and changing of roles to come. Everyone has been so dependent on me the last 10 years or so and I've turned into a control freak. Handing over those reigns to others will be hard.

Thanks for letting me vent folks