Furious at this parent!!

[playfelt]

Why is it any business of yours what the mom does after hours - just because the kid was a brat at daycare doesn't mean mom and daughter etc have to suffer and why should mom have to deal with temper tantrum by refusing child dessert. The other side of the coin is parent shows up at the door and says child misbehaved before coming and therefore dont' let him go outside to play today or don't let him go on the museum trip or don't let him go in the splash pad - are you really going to cancel the promised plans for everyone else and stay home or deal with a tantruming child on your outing when the "problem" was between the child and parent.

[Lou]

Anyways, I totally get your frustration Bright! I would be furious too that my expensive property was destroyed...especial ly by a child who is old enough to know better, and then find out that his behaviour was rewarded by a trip to the ice cream store. Vent away!

[bright sparks]

Why is it any business of yours what the mom does after hours - just because the kid was a brat at daycare doesn't mean mom and daughter etc have to suffer and why should mom have to deal with temper tantrum by refusing child dessert.

It's my business when as a direct result of her lack of disciplining this child ongoing and chronically which it is, her child comes into my home, my daycare and regularly causes problems. That is what makes it my business. I also have a relationship with this family outside of daycare so have seen for years that their is a massive lack of discipline with both her kids even prior to the divorce. I am Emergency contact for her kids school, when her son went to hospital one night with calculator buttons stuck up his nose, I took her daughter as a friend would and fed her and bathed her because I am her friend. When mum is to go have surgery on a cancellation list and needs a last minute ride to and from hospital at a moments notice and I'm not available, my husband goes, because we are friends. I have a relationship with this family, I am invested for money on our contracted days and outside of that as a friend. Not by manipulation but because over the last 5 years I have developed a relationship with the kids mother. Our friendship is based on honesty and she thanks me for my honesty outright even when she doesn't want to hear it. If a parent or friend alike doesn't want to know my opinion, then they shouldn't ask. During working hours I tread very carefully not crossing the line, and as a friend I am honest, do not pacify, but also always stay conscious of the fact that we are all human and I can remain kind without sugar coating it. This woman asks me all the time, at least the last 12 months as things have got really bad, what can I do, what can I do. I have told her that she needs to discipline him and offer consequences for her mouth is empty threats, or you give him friggin ice creams and toys left, right and centre even though he is being destructive which is very different than being a brat....AND as a direct result his behaviour isn't improving. She is human and makes mistakes, or has a different parenting style and I don't have to like it, but yes playfelt, it is absolutely my business when she makes it my business by constantly complaining to me, asking for helping and not following my advice to even give it a try, and then sending her child into my home whose behaviour is escalating as a result of her actions, who then intoxicates the dynamic of all my 2 year olds who now parrot him on a level I have never seen before resulting in parents complaining. I told mum after he bit my son the other day, in front of me, that if I weren't closing, I would be giving immediate notice because his behaviour has escalated so much. This wasn't an ice cream for desert, this was pacification and feeding into the problem, which directly impacts me so makes this my business!

because the kid was a brat at daycare doesn't mean mom and daughter etc have to suffer and why should mom have to deal with temper tantrum by refusing child dessert

...because that's called parenting and how the kids learn. Lesson for him and lesson for his older sister. This was a treat. I know because that is the exact word she uses to say lets go for ice cream as a treat. The child caused a good $1000 worth of damage, I wouldn't compare that to a bratty child throwing a temper tantrum because they didn't get their own way.