Pulling hair

[daycaremom9]

I have a 20 month old who has taken to pulling on clothing and hair all of a sudden. The victims of this behavior tend to be soft spoken and when she is trying to grab their clothes or hair they don't really protect themselves from it. I'm trying to teach them to say No in a strong and firm voice. The other children are taking to doing this as well to help their friends. Any suggestions?

[kindertime]

In a lot of ways, this type of behaviour is the same as biting. So my advice would be the same. First, Observe - is there a time when this happens more? Is it a response to something or is it just for attention? Does something happen that causes the behaviour? I have found that writing this down helps identify patterns. If there is a pattern, you can use that to limit or eliminate the trigger. Next, Shadow. Be right there whenever the child is in close proximity to the other children. You can stop it from happening or at least react immediately. Third, Limit interaction and redirect. Obviously, you should say something but keep it short, like just "no" so that the attention can be focused on the child who is hurt. Lastly, Separate. When you are busy, (like making lunch,) keep that child away from the others with gates or in a high chair. Give them something to do "away" from the action until you can be right there again.

This type of behaviour is normal, albeit very frustrating. But they will, hopefully, grow out of it!

[playfelt]

I have a 15 month old doing it and trying to grab the other kids noses or poke their eyes but also mom has long hair and lets the child play with it, they pinch each other's noses or she lets the child poke at her eyes or stick her fingers in her ears at pick up cause she is learning. Well had to tell the mom that too bad the child can't distinguish between it being ok to poke mom but not ok to poke their friends, etc. Mom has since curtailed the "game" and child has stopped doing it to the others.

[Van]

I agree with Kindertime's good advice - it is worth it in the end
Good luck

[daycaremom9]

I just wanted to say thank you for the ideas. I have had a biter and he eventually outgrew it but I had to terminate anyways due to agressive behavior. So I do separate her from her friends and shadow her. She is now pulling another girl's hair. It seems to be for attention, whenever she does it she looks at me and laughs or smiles. I'll just continue on and hopefully she'll stop.