Comforting Children

[Lee-Bee]

My 2yr old daughter is a very strong willed, strong personality child. She will lose it and scream endlessly. I ignore her fits BUT I do need to give her a reality check while she is screaming. "if you continue to scream I will have to take you __ away" "we are having snack now when you stop screaming you can join us". If I just leave her she will scream for a long time. When I say the above it cue her in to what she will miss if she choses to continue.

I don't talk to her other than to say she will miss something or have something taken away if she continues. She usually then stops within a minute or two because she has a reason to stop. She then choses to stop on her own. After she is calm I remind her it is not fair for the rest of us to listen to the screaming and I inform her of what she missed while screaming.

Often the toddlers and young kids that scream for long periods...they have tuned the world out and are so focused on their screaming that they don't realize the consequence of having sat there screaming. Gentle reminders help them put it in perspective and in time help them decide not to scream so long...and hopefully at all.

[mickyc]

Tantrums result in timeout here. I have zero tolerance for that sort of behavior. They must go sit in timeout until they are done. I do not acknowledge them while in timeout (tell them to quit etc). Most kids figure it out pretty quick and the tantrums stop. I had one boy though who was a nightmare and was excessively dramatic! Timeouts didn't work as well for him. I had to start being more creative. He didn't like being last at things so if he threw a tantrum then he would be last to go outside, last in line to wash hands, last one I gave lunch to etc.

I just feel there is no point in terminating a child for being difficult. I have yet to have a group without one "handful" so I might as well just keep the one I have already! Lol

[torontokids]

So he had a much better day today. We had a small snack inside (the messy stuff e.g. yogurt) and I brought a bunch pf food outside to have. This made a huge difference! It is more of a pain and will cost me more money food wise but in the end it is worth it. I hope this was just not a coincidence and things continue to move in the right direction! He started to get upset but was also more easily redirected...who knew he may of just been "Hangry"

[Elly]

I can understand giving timeouts for tantrums over 2 years old. The idea of a timeout in the playpen is a great idea, I've done that with my 2.5 year old and it works great! But how would you go about settling a 1 year old down?

[babydom]

I do the same. My 1yrs sit on the step till they calm down. Seems to work well for me. They all understand after a few times

[mickyc]

Same here. Timeout for everyone. When you are done crying and settled down you can come out.

I don't use the playpen though. I don't want a child to dislike their playpen so it is never used for punishment. I have a spot on the floor by my laundry room door. Or if outside they sit by the door at the house. I actually had one boy put himself in timeout when he got upset. It was hilarious. He knew that was his spot to pout/feel mad/calm down.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't really do time outs for under 2's. I don't feel it's fair. They're young and don't know any better. Our job is to teach them the appropriate way to handle their anger and/or behaviour. We need to model behaviour for them. I use distraction or remove them from the area and use simple word instruction.

I try to remember that even children are allowed to be grouchy(aren't we all lol) but aggression is not so I focus more on that and less on "punishment" when they're that young

[torontokids]

So I did the same today with snack and we had a regular "melt down" morning outside. I put him in the wagon with a buckle when he started bawling about not getting his way or whatever. He cried and screamed for 15 mins or so. Came out, started wailing about a toy, went back in the wagon and the rest of the morning went better. So here's hoping! My neighbour is a teacher and so is off this summer and I got a weird look from her during all this...I find teachers can be kind of 'judgey" anyways but who knows.

He came in today super whiny. I am not sure if his parents realize how whiny their kid is. I know my daughter went through a whiny stage and I had gotten a bit used to it, it wasn't until someone had said something to me that I saw how bad it had gotten. Dad seemed to reinforce the whining though my snuggling him as he was whining away and asking "whats wrong?" etc. I said "Bobby talk like a big boy so we can help you." I think the dad might have caught on.

[mickyc]

I am not sure about how I feel about a child being restrained while in a timeout (buckled in wagon, high chair or in playpen). Child should know that if you send them to a certain spot that they need to remain there until allowed out. I tell children having a tantrum that once they have calmed down they can join the group. I think buckling them in somewhere just causes more anxiety and the child to be more upset. I think of it more as more like giving them space/time to relax and collect themselves. It is similar to a timeout but not quiet the same. Not sure if that makes sense.

[superfun]

Ha, I was thinking of this thread this morning. Mine started screaming when I tried to show him how to get onto the glider on the swing set, instead of lifting him on. And the whole morning went similar to this. He got put in the lawn chair each time. I don't think it helped, but maybe by tomorrow I'll see some changes.