Understanding, caring and parents that work with us make a world of difference when it comes to working with children that need a lot of extra care! Hopefully you guys are able to make some good progress! I would start with books from the library for kids dealing with emotions. There should be plenty that talk about anger and ways to control it. Look for videos as well (youtube should have some). At 4.5yrs he is old enough to take on ownership and help find constructive ways to deal with it. Help him learn to identify these emotions and remove himself to start. make a special, quiet, calm alone place with some favorite books that he can retreat to when angry. Reward and praise him when he removes himself. Overtime work to have him deal with the anger without having to leave the situation but that will take time.
Best of luck!
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