Personal Life Is Just Sad

[ahnys]

But isn't it my fault she's like that? I am the one who did that disgusting job and I know I can't go back in time and change the fact that I had boyfriends when I was 16 or 17 but moving forward I am not the same person. At the ages I was still figuring out who I was. She says I make her sad all the time because of my past so it's easier for her not to like to me.

No, ottawamommy, it is NOT your fault she's like that. You are an imperfect human being, no different than every other human being walking the planet. If you regret your past, likely you will not make those same choices again. That's it. That's living a life.
Please do not allow shame to bury you. From what you have shared of your past choices, there was one person affected, and that was you. You haven't mentioned killing anyone, or abusing someone vulnerable. You worked in a sex shop, and having the clarity of the passage of time, you really wish you hadn't.
You are young and maybe haven't had the opportunity to learn yet that EVERYONE has some form of shame in their past. Your choices do not make you unworthy or unloveable. You are NOT those actions.
For God's sake, forgive yourself, and don't accept continual punishment from someone who chooses to believe that your past actions permanently erase your intrinsic right to personal dignity and worth.