I agree with mickeyc, more consistency on everyone's part sounds like is what is needed.

I sometimes change up nap too (put down earlier, get up earlier) but that is because I have good nappers right now and they usually are all in sync. If I had a child having sleep issues, I'd keep it consistent.

Mine are down between 1230/1 and woke up at 3. For the little ones (or in your case, the early drop offs) I just nap them first thing in the morning for a quick 20-30 minutes and this helps them make it until afternoon nap. I agree with most others that 4 is too late for most kids.

I do agree with you that there are probably things they can do better at home to help her but I don't necessarily think that we work for them or them for us....we work together in raising their children They are asking something that I think is quite reasonable and can be accommodated. Hopefully she gets into a better sleep routine and it will benefit everyone!