Epic Tantrums

[Lee-Bee]

Gahhh, this is why it is so important to take control of your child when they are cute and tiny. Eventually they grow up to be big and not so cute, and after that they are bigger and stronger than us!

Is it purely behavioral or could there be some sort of underlying condition (autism spectrum, learning disorder, ADHD etc). If it is just plain learned behavior from home then your response will be somewhat different than if you suspect he has bigger issues.

If you can figure out the why behind his self time outs go from there. If he is doing it to manipulate you into giving attention then completely and totally ignore the time out so he doesn't walk away having won. If he is doing it because he has learned that he has done wrong and that is what he needs to do then acknowledge the fact he has learned this, give quick praise then move on.

Is the child just overwhelmed and out of control without the ability to contain his emotions? Or is he lying on the floor tantruming because he is in control? If he is out of control maybe figure out how to teach the skills he needs to express and voice those emotions. If it is just because he isn't getting his way and he is used to getting his way then it is so much harder for you. He is 4, it's not like you can just carrying him and strap him in a stroller.

One thing I would say is if he is tantruming and not helping to get dressed when you need to do a school pick up then you carry him to the car with no coat or boats and strap him in. Until it is frigid outside he does not NEED his outside layers. The car will warm up soon enough. You just give more attention by wrestling him into his clothes.

If he is doing this all for attention then he needs a consequence when you return. Voice the consequence when you leave. Voice it again as you approach home. It can be a boring snack while the others get cookies and treats, missing out on a fun activity. Something that will mean something to him. He will flip out, but eventually he will learn that he loses out on fun things when he makes you have to drag him along because he is having a tantrum. He is 4...he will learn this soon enough.

Again, this really sucks for you. With 2 yr olds this behavior is often understandable and while it sucks to have to work through it they are 2 so you can at least be understanding of it. When it is a 4yr old it is just annoying. He should have learned long ago that lying on the floor refusing to get dressed doesn't win him anything.