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Thread: Very needy baby

  1. #1

    Very needy baby

    Hi all! I recently started advertising for my home daycare. I have one client, an 8 month old girl. She's been in my home for 6 hours now, and has cried 75% of the time and I've been holding her/wearing her about 90% of the time. I'm sure it because it's her first day and she's frightened and missing her mom. I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this? Did the child become more comfortable/independent over time? How did you deal with the situation. Are all children this needy at first? TIA.

  2. #2
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    It gets better!!

    When I first started I had 2 under 12 months. They both did well during the day but one would cry at naptime SO bad!! Once I found what he liked, pitch black room, it seemed to help. It was exhausting though as neither walked and getting them plus 2 two year olds outside was brutal. Looking back, I often wonder how I did it lol.

    The one actually started to cry and play shy at drop off's about 3-4 months after starting. Mom was so good with it and said that he was at the stage now where he knew that mom was leaving for a long period and I guess it's a common age to play shy, even with people they know and see everyday. I don't remember it lasting long so it must have been a quick phase!

  3. #3
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    It's just a matter of time. You aren't a familiar face. It usually takes 2-4 weeks to really transition.

    I don't take younger than 11 months so this won't apply to you as much but I also do not constantly hold a child (never wear a child). I will sit on the floor with them, hold them on my knee a bit but I don't do it all day.

  4. #4
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    yes it will get better as the baby gets use to you and it is normal for the first day to be sad and tense but she/he will soon settle - I will be talking on an 8 month old baby in Jan and I may be in the same boat LOL

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    It could take a month. I've never had one that young as a client, but the 12 month olds are challenging enough to transition. Try not holding the child as much. Give hugs, but sit beside them on the floor with activities. It takes on average 2-4 weeks for them to get used to you and the routine, and could be longer for nap time. This one is so young, so be prepared for it to take longer.

  6. #6
    I'm just wondering, why do you suggest never to wear a baby? I find it makes the tasks like cleaning up snack time etc much easier, especially with this baby. She would scream and cry hard even if I put her down for a minute. Tia

    Thanks for the great answers everyone ��

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keirstcaird View Post
    I'm just wondering, why do you suggest never to wear a baby? I find it makes the tasks like cleaning up snack time etc much easier, especially with this baby. She would scream and cry hard even if I put her down for a minute. Tia

    Thanks for the great answers everyone ��
    There tend to be 2 approaches to this. One is to start from day one (minute one) with getting the child used to what they ultimately need to be used to. In a daycare with 5 young children (in most homedaycares) the children all need to be used to entertaining themselves and being on their own as the caregiver tends to the other children. The thought is that it is an easy adjustment to the child (and everyone else) if the child enters and is taught the expectations immediately.

    For others, they give the child some leeway for the first few weeks then once adjusted they start changing so the child adapts to being on the floor while the caregiver is busy. This can work easily for some children but can be yet another adjustment for other children. They got used to baby wearing, are now comfortable and you take baby wearing out and they just are not happy about it.

    Different caregivers do it different ways but I would say the majority more or less start with the child adapting to the day homes ways from the start.

    Another key part is the caregivers healthy and sanity. It can be wearing on their mind and body to be wearing children everyday. They are in this career for decades....it is different than raising a wearing a few of your own children that out grow it soon enough.

    You need to decide what works for you and what you feel most comfortable with. It is important to think longer term too. Will you have more children starting soon? Do you plan to wear 2 children or ditch the first child and wear the newest. How will the child now feel about being worn all the time one day and then not any more when the "new kid" starts etc. Are you suffering back pain, limb pain and fatigue by the end of the day?

    I would think it is safe to say a lot of us start out trying to do everything for new children (baby wear, rock and hold through nap, never put them down, never let them cry). As they transition more and more children and as they are in this career longer they change their ways and have the children just adapt to the environment how it is. It is just a function or experience and survival!

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  9. #8
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    It's takes about 2 full weeks to transition a full time child sometime a little more .... I have never taken one that young but I also would never wear a child .... It's too hard on the body and I like to start as I want to finish .... In other words I'm not going to start doing something I dont plan on continuing .... I also don't do bottles or rock to sleep

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    The thing about baby wearing is the child comes to depend on it to remain calm. Then when you phase it out, they scream bloody murder. The other thing is that your body takes a toll with neck and back strain. I wouldn't do it with a daycare child, but that's just my opinion.

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    I have a 2 year old that started almost a year ago at the age of 14 months. She cried almost all the time for 2 weeks. She would go home with a hoarse voice. At the end of 2 weeks, one day I noticed it wasn't as bad as it had been. I had a discussion with her mom that if the not adjusting to daycare continued, I would let her go. After that day things gradually got better. There have been a few bad days but in general she has adapted and is quite the sweet little girl. If things didn't improve though I would have had to let her go.

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