Please please help!!!!

[crayolamom]

Hi everyone,
It seems nothing but problems having been occurring with me in my daycare!!


I need help with a parent who I think I maybe terminating VERY soon because I just cant be bothered by her high maintenance attitude. It is pretty bad as some parents have tried to say to introduce themselves to her and she just flips her hair and walks away!!!!!!!! She treats you as if you as you are her slave because she is the one paying you. I have been very calm and always tried to make her happy but at this point she keep pushing and I cant stand her anymore.

We are having an issue in terms of potty training. I am new to the daycare world and have lots of local providers who have helped me and this is one of the things I took their advice on.

Potty Training!!!!!!!!!!

I have been told the child should be accident free AT DAYCARE for 2 weeks before they are allowed to wear underwear to daycare. While they are training pull-ups must be used. Below is word for word the response I got from her.

"Unfortunately, pull-ups do not work for us. Like many children, X does not distinguish the difference between pull-ups and diapers, and while he's had the majority of successful days in underwear, training pants always result in an accident, and he gets very upset. He understands that he wears diapers for a nap, and occasionally for a big outing away from toilets (ie the park), but a full day in a pull-up or diapers is not going to give him any successes. It seems to us that waiting for him to have 2 accident-free weeks is not participating in or supporting his potty training.

If the pull-ups policy is not up for discussion, then we will have to send X to daycare in diapers, which will likely upset him and undo the progress he's made on the potty. This seems unfair to him, given that he's worked on using the potty for three full weeks at this point and made great progress."

Are the other providers wrong that underwear should not been worn and only pull ups or is she wrong. Please help

[Busy ECE mommy]

My rule is 2 consecutive weeks accident free in pullups before underwear can be worn, and 1 month accident free in a pullup at naptime.

[crayolamom]

Thank you so much ladies!!!! I will do a most of what she said and what I said right below>

Hopefully I went about this the right way and if I didnt well then oh well you live and you learn lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

I was going to type out my policy but yours sounds word for word what I'd say lol.

I have a policy in place and MOST families do okay with it. However, potty training isn't black and white and what works for one kid might not for another and IMO, it's a very case by case situation. If a child TRULY didn't understand that a pull up wasn't the same as a diaper than I'd consider a different approach. For sone kids, it can take months while others take a week. If it was an approach that was taking too long or really disrupting my care to the other kids than I may even consider asking the parents to take 1-2 weeks off and train THEIR child.

Luckily, pull ups have never been an issue for the kids I've helped train

[BlueRose]

I demand pull ups until I hand them a written letter stating that their child can come in underwear. The letter also states that if their child has an accident well in underwear, they have to go back into pull-ups until presented with another letter saying we can try again. (I have had a few families try and say I said it was ok to stop bringing pull-ups when I didn't, so they now get it in writing).

I also have it that if they break my policy and send their child without a pull-up (unless letter has been given) then they have to pay 100% of the replacement cost anything the child's pee touches. This includes my couch, bookcases etc. Lets just say since I started this policy I haven't had anyone not send pull-ups until they got a letter saying its ok to do so. Not that I would actually charge them, but I have the option to do so if I feel its necessary.

Good for you for standing up for your policy and telling them to either fallow the rules or go else where.

[Crayola kiddies]

i do have the two weeks accident free before underwear policy as well ....but in all honesty some kids truly do see pulls ups as glorified diapers and use them as such .....in that case i do use the thick underwear with a plastic cover over top ....i do not dump or dunk the under wear in the event of an accident and they just get rolled up and placed in a bag for the parent to deal with at home .....if the child has been using underwear and is able to tell you that he has to go to the bathroom and hold it for a few minutes beyond that announcement then i would allow the underwear. if the child is still at the point where they are not able to indicate that they have to go and then just soil them selves and then still not say anything then that is not acceptable ....if the parent is just putting the child on the potty every 30-45 minutes ..well that is not a trained child that is a trained adult ....i would say if you want to get rid of this family then then heres your chance but otherwise i would get more info on how potty training is going and offer to give it a shot and if the child just soils himself and says nothing ...even once ...then its pull ups

[babydom]

I'm the same. Two wks accident free IN PULL UPS then can move to underware. And one mth in pull up for nap then underware.
Also this is simple.......YOUR BUSSINESS, YOUR RULES!!!!
If she doesn't like it, then bye bye

[5 Little Monkeys]

Side note...I like to put their underwear on than the pull up. I have found this helps them train and feel the mess but the pull up contains it and saves my carpet/couch etc

[3rdtimesacharm]

Side note...I like to put their underwear on than the pull up. I have found this helps them train and feel the mess but the pull up contains it and saves my carpet/couch etc

I was going to suggest exactly this. Underwear under a pull up. They still have the feeling of clothing and not a diaper, but the pull up holds any messes. Curious, is this child going poop at daycare? Or accidents with that as well?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I am the opposite and insist on real underwear from day one. However, your policy is different and we do what we each prefer.

The bigger issue is that this parent think your policy negotiable when it not.

I would send message and state that for hygiene reasons, you have the policy that you do. And in your home, where you are having clean accidents with other children present, you not willing have constant urine on floor and furniture. I would let her know that she more than welcome to keep child at home and toilet train herself using own preferred method, but in your house, you have reason for doing it way you do, and it includes consideration for all children present. Ask her what dates she will be training and keeping child home and remind fees due regardless of attendance. Ask how long she think it will take her to complete training and when you expect child back into daycare.