Need Idea to help 3 year old

[kindertime]

Obviously, since I don't know this child, and don't have the history with him that you do, I couldn't say for certain, but the things you descibe, don't neccesarily sound like they are from being babied. There could be something else at issue here. If he is struggling because he is refusing to try, and whining just because you are asking something of him, that's different.

What you have described sounds like a child I had here once. Just couldn't recognize shapes or even illustrations (for example, when looking at a drawing of a banana, couldn't tell me what it was. But could from a photo or looking at an actual banana.) So there was no hope for letters at that age. This child wasn't with me long enough for me to see any progress though.

I have some of these letter stencils, the kids use them all the time and I find it does help them to learn the shapes of the letters. (I just have to make sure they are using them the right side up.)
http://www.staples.ca/en/Staedtler-L...9_2-CA_1_20001

It sounds like what you are doing already is good practice for the fine motor skills. I have found some children really struggle with the pincer grasp (the way you hold a pencil) When I see this at 2 and 3, I make sure that I'm watching when they hold anything to keep reminding them to hold it properly, pencils, crayons, markers and even a spoon or fork. So that hopefully, it becomes the habit.