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  1. #1
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    4 years old and in diapers

    Title says it all, got a new client this week which was heaven sent as I really needed to fill a spot asap however the child is 4, 60lbs and in diapers.
    During the interview I didn't ask if child is potty trained because by 4 and 2months I thought it was safe to assume child is potty trained, going to school in september and all... Mom threw it out there last minute, I was going to take client anyway as I needed the spot filled and really liked the parents.

    Child is very resistant to using toilet (potty isn't even an option, kid is too big) I offered to help out with that as I have 3 2yr olds which I am training right now, 2 have shown remarkable progress in just 1 week of introducing this ( I am very consistent, ever hr we sit on the potty, if someone goes in a corner to poop I catch em and put them on the potty) but child doesn't want to go, when I say its time he cries and complains for mommy. any tips on how to make it work? I think he has just been for so long going in diapers that he doesn't want or feel the need to change, I have rewards such as a small treat, stickers, etc and he is aware of it but that hasn't helped.

    This child is pretty helpless all around, doesn't know how to UNZIP jacket, put on shoes, take off shoes, pull down pants and acts like a 2.5 yr old. I am not sure if its a mental delay (mom said there were no medical or developmental issues) or just been babied all his life. He doesn't even try to help himself and when he does if he can't get it first time quits.

    How would you handle this? tips would be great

  2. #2
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    Oh my. Well the only tip I can give is persistence. The child will eventually get it but it will take YOU a lot of hard work. Hopefully parents can be on board

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  4. #3
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    At 4yrs old I would think you need to forgo the pull ups. They are old enough to have bladder control. They just haven't had a reason to control it yet. It's been 4yrs of soiling themselves...they can't be expected to train with a diaper on (a pull up is a diaper).

    I don't know what to suggest. It's either on you to train this child (sounds like it could take a long while) or to just not take the initiative and leave it to the parents to do...but then you have to change a 4yrs olds diaper and I really don't know that that would be enjoyable. I think there is a point in age where the toddler cuteness factor fades and the whole diaper change is no longer do-able!! lol

    Do you have a shower in your daycare bathroom? Maybe every time the child poops he has to undress himself and get in the shower to clean off? It seems mean i know but it might be enough incentive to have the child CHOSE to not poop himself at age 4. Of course, if there is a medical or developmental reason for the diaper this would just be cruel.

    I would also INSIST the child comes in only jogging type pants. NO zippers, no buttons no buckles nothing to prevent a 4 yr old from pulling his own pants up and down. After the toileting is mastered then teach all those skills as well.

  5. #4
    Euphoric !
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    When I toilet train daycare child first business day after 2nd birthday, I require parent be on board for consistency. My whole method base on it being less inconvenient for child to go to washroom, than it is to have accident. I require real underwear so it feel different and when accident happen, the child have to get fresh clothes, I help them clean up (if 2 years old) and the child has to put fresh clothes on.

    First couple days about lot of praise and congratulation to build confidence and no negativity but they do have to get own clothes from bag, take off wet clothes, put in plastic bag etc.

    Since this one is much older, he should be able clean himself.

    Need parent on board though. If they going keep baby him then it not going work. Sit down with parent, go over method and make sure they will be doing same at home. If not, it going be long road.

  6. #5
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    I agree with everything that's been said so far. My only suggestion would be to possibly wait a couple of weeks before continuing to train. This child just started this week right? He's probably trying to cope with all the changes happening right now (new provider and kids, new surroundings, new routine, being away from mom, etc.). So trying to potty train him at the same time might be a bit too much all at once.

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  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee-Bee View Post
    At 4yrs old I would think you need to forgo the pull ups. They are old enough to have bladder control. They just haven't had a reason to control it yet. It's been 4yrs of soiling themselves...they can't be expected to train with a diaper on (a pull up is a diaper).

    I don't know what to suggest. It's either on you to train this child (sounds like it could take a long while) or to just not take the initiative and leave it to the parents to do...but then you have to change a 4yrs olds diaper and I really don't know that that would be enjoyable. I think there is a point in age where the toddler cuteness factor fades and the whole diaper change is no longer do-able!! lol

    Do you have a shower in your daycare bathroom? Maybe every time the child poops he has to undress himself and get in the shower to clean off? It seems mean i know but it might be enough incentive to have the child CHOSE to not poop himself at age 4. Of course, if there is a medical or developmental reason for the diaper this would just be cruel.

    I would also INSIST the child comes in only jogging type pants. NO zippers, no buttons no buckles nothing to prevent a 4 yr old from pulling his own pants up and down. After the toileting is mastered then teach all those skills as well.
    he doesn't even have pull ups which I mentioned to mom would be good idea (and make my life easier) just regular diapers as big as they get. the diapers are crying "help" as they are stretched beyond capacity

    I have him going when my little ones are going, although he complains I make him try, sit there for 5 mins minimum, just like I have done for my own children and the others ones. I am going to suggest mom putting him in underwear at home and then she can tell me how he did at home, then I can decide if I want to try that. Other babies I have are in regular diapers and pull ups, one little boy today didn't pee in his diaper at all today, all in potty except for during nap so this bg guy should be able to do it as well. Mom and dad during the interview kept saying she hasn't pushed him because he hasn't been completely ready.

    I do have a shower yes and that is a good idea however I have to discuss it with mom, I don't want to take any drastic measures (I wouldn't call this drastic but some people might) without her understanding and being on board. I am going to try to sit down with her and get a bit more info and find out exactly where she stands regarding this. She said she has been trying to put him on the toilet more often now since we started...

    No there's nothing cute about it this situation. Its not like this is a small dainty 4 yr old either, he is a big boy, this child weighs more than double me, its hard to lift up his butt to put the diaper under as he is helpless and hard to pick him up to sit in the toilet because he doesn't want to sit by himself.

    Great idea I will say that tomorrow! i am trying to get him to learn to put on his shoes, unzip his coat and pull his pants down all by himself. The pants he can't pull down have all been jogging pants so far!!!

    Thank you for the advice!

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzie_Homemaker View Post
    When I toilet train daycare child first business day after 2nd birthday, I require parent be on board for consistency. My whole method base on it being less inconvenient for child to go to washroom, than it is to have accident. I require real underwear so it feel different and when accident happen, the child have to get fresh clothes, I help them clean up (if 2 years old) and the child has to put fresh clothes on.

    First couple days about lot of praise and congratulation to build confidence and no negativity but they do have to get own clothes from bag, take off wet clothes, put in plastic bag etc.

    Since this one is much older, he should be able clean himself.

    Need parent on board though. If they going keep baby him then it not going work. Sit down with parent, go over method and make sure they will be doing same at home. If not, it going be long road.
    Wow awesome does that usually work with the kids? how long on average does it take for you to train them?

    Yes, key is parents on board I agree!

  10. #8
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    Potty training is something that is very individual to every child. Some are ready before 2 and some aren't ready until much older. Has he EVER shown interest in training yet? The rush will be on now as he can't go to school unless he's fully potty trained. Sounds like you have a good routine set with training so hopefully after awhile in your care, it will come to him! I agree, that maybe waiting a week or so with him would be good though. Let him adjust to you and feel comfortable before pushing the toilet too hard.

    As for changing...I'd change him standing up! That's what I do when they get too big anyways.

    Good luck!

  11. #9
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    She mentioned he has used the toilet successfully at home a few times. I don't know if he wanted to or she just got lucky those times. I will try standing up, I do my little ones standing up after the potty, but I have to apply cream as he gets a rash easily so needs to be lying down for that...

    Thank you for your input!

  12. #10
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    I don't generally toilet train until the parents have spent a full week of consecutive days at home with the child to learn the process. This child may be developmentally delayed. If the child doesn't have the self help skills at age 4, then I wonder... They need to be able to pull own pants up&down and communicate that they need to go or have already gone. With heavier kids, I don't lift them on&off the toilet, I give them a stool and they do it by themselves. It doesn't sound like he's ready. I'd put the responsibility on the parents to do the training for now, and yes, he needs to use underwear, as pullups are diapers.

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