A little bit of a vent but I need your opinion

[Suzie_Homemaker]

You won't change these parent to be the type of parent you think they should be. Accepting that will help your internal guilt. Treat them like any other client because that what they are. No extended hours without a serious charge for your inconvenience if at all. No tolerance of late collections. Once treat them purely as client, you will feel better.

[Lee-Bee]

Well...their reasoning and what they do on their own time should have NO impact on your keeping him late. If they want to hire out 24/7 care it's their choice and we can't change our care for a child because we feel they should spend more time with their kid. Dinner plans without a child is really no different then work meetings or doctors appointment as far as you are concerned.

WHAT REALLY MATTERS here is...would you be extending your hours for your other families? Their family relation has no bearing on your daycare, they get no special privileges. It sounds like you know this by your (I know, I know) comment. So, would you be saying yes or no to this same request from other parents? That same answer applies here.

There should be no guilt for saying no...it is your contracted terms. There should be no resentment if you say yes...they are a client you have offered a service to. If you are not happy with the situation it is up to you to clear things up and make it clear to them or terminate the daycare relationship.

The only way home daycare can work with caring for family members children is if BOTH sides are totally clear and open with each other. Otherwise one side ends up losing by the other side inching over that line, bit by bit, more and more.

[Snowmom]

7 years ago, I could have written this exact post.

Because it's family, it's hard to separate the business relationship from the family relationship because the ramifications of HOW these parents "parent" their child will impact you and your family directly (depending of course on how close your families are and how much time you spend together).

To me, there's a direct correlation between the bad behavior and how much time is spent (or not spent) with Mom and Dad. The kids act out because it's the only way Mom and Dad will pay attention to them.

If I could go back and tell myself to NOT take on my inlaw's kids, I totally would. Because now, I can't stand to be in the same room with them, which is a sore spot with my husband and me as well as my MIL (she doesn't see the problem). My kids also think it's unfair that their cousins are Grandma's "favorites" because Grandma always picked up their cousins from my house (and not my kids) and they have their own room at Grandmas (they stay THAT much). It breaks my heart.

Yes, you'll never change them. Yes, you should treat them as you would any other client (although it's HARD). But, my advice beyond that, is to think about how it's affecting YOU, your relationships and your family life. If it's having a negative impact, let them go!

[crafty]

If I could go back and tell myself to NOT take on my inlaw's kids, I totally would. Because now, I can't stand to be in the same room with them, which is a sore spot with my husband and me as well as my MIL (she doesn't see the problem). My kids also think it's unfair that their cousins are Grandma's "favorites" because Grandma always picked up their cousins from my house (and not my kids) and they have their own room at Grandmas (they stay THAT much). It breaks my heart.!

Ah man ! Don't EVEN get me started on my MIL ! She's definitely playing favs. it's so obvious outsiders even mentioned it to me... I just let that one roll off my back as best I can because I know that type of behavior will blowup in her face. However I have felt very sad for my own kids for sure !