This parent is driving me crazy! Am I wrong here??

[babydom]

Ok I need to vent this out. I have this one parent that's fighting me hard on nap time and I'm feeling like I'm in the wrong here but I know I'm not.

I have a 2.5yr old girl that plays hard and is very very busy. Like literally runs circles around the playroom non stop. Haha. So come nap time natualy she is tired. I was a nanny for 13 yrs and nap time was noon to 3 and I worked in daycares before and there nap times were 2-3hrs so when I opened my home daycare 6 yrs ago I just used that experience and put my nap time as noon to 3. It has worked perfect as I open at 7 so we do lunch at 1115/1130 then nap. I have never had a problem. Until this one family. She has been with me since she was 11mths old and a few mths ago she asked if I can shorten her nap as she wasn't going to bed at night till 9/10pm. I said ok thinking that maybe three hrs is long so since then we have been doing 1230-230. It works well but I do notice this little girl and my other four kids are still tired when I wake them.

Well tonight at 9pm she texts ok her nap can only be an hr or 1.5hrs cuz her going to bed this late and waking up tired is not working for us. I didn't responded right away as I'm quite angry. **As a side note: this family came to me before Christmas because they fell on hard times and I felt bad for them and didn't want to lose heir girl and wanted to help out so I gave them a discount, 75$ cheaper a wk. (I know a bad idea, urgh!) and with that they extended their hrs by an hr (still within my daycare hrs) but I'm working more hrs for less $$. And now she wants me to work even more hrs for still less money. After settling down I texted her back just now and calmly explained that no I'm sorry I will not shorten nap. I already did once and I don't have a separate rm to nap her so everyone has to be on the same schedule. I also told her that I tried a few times to wake her earlier and take her out but the other just woke and then I have a very grumpy and long afternoon with sleepy kids. I know for a fact it's not a tired issue. It's that this girl runs the house and there is no disapline. I said I can give some sleep training techniques that maybe will make bedtime easier. Anyways she texted back, we'll talk more tomorrow! Urgh!!

I'll be ready to talk all right. Lol. I Just hate how parents view me as their babysitter and I am suppose to accomandate their child. It doesn't work that way. This is my business and I run it my way. If u don't like it thats fine they should then find a daycare that works for them which in this case is a daycare that does not offer nap to 2yrs olds. I already shorten the nap once for her. I gave her a rate discount. I extended her hrs. I feel like shes pushing it.

Am I wrong here? Some of me feels bad like I'm feeling mad and mean and Im wrong. But a bigger part of me is feeling no this is my daycare and this is our nap time. Take it or leave it.

Guess I'm looking for validation. What are ur nap time hrs? Do u think 2hr naps for 2yr old is reasonable?

I also don't think an hr or 1.5hrs is enough time for my rest. I need to clean the kitchen the playroom. Get afternoon snack and activities ready and then eat lunch myself and rest myself

Thank for u listening!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

As with anything else, parents can definitely ask about my program. If we can come to a compromise, great! If not, they have to decide if they want to stay with me or not. I've had a couple who left shortly after realizing I wasn't going to give in to their demands. They didn't say they were leaving due to this but I could tell it was because they didn't get their own way. Nannies are better options for some parents IMO.

As far as what I think about napping, 3 hours does seem a bit excessive every day. Some days mine sleep that long but most often, it's 2-2.5 hours and not past 3pm. (There's been exceptions to this too but not on a regular basis) I have 2 almost 3 year olds and 2 almost 5 year olds. Some days nap has been 1.5-2 hours. It's adjusted when needed. Every child must lay down but I'm not super strict on the length. As they age, I just expect to adapt their nap times. Yes this is my daycare but part of being a provider to multiple ages means adapting my program when needed, IMO. What worked when they were 1 won't when they're 4.

Currently, none of my children nap at home (this has been for quite some time now actually) but they all nap here still. Only one parent has mentioned their child goes to bed late but they've never asked me to cut nap out. As she's almost 5, it will have to happen this summer anyways for school purposes

[goldielocks]

I think kids should nap for just about 2-2.5 hours. I remember in the daycare centre where I send my kids to they napped for only about 2 hours and I send them to bed by 7 every night.No problems...

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I think 3 hour long time too but you changed it to 2 hour. For child this age, a nap is still needed. I think you been very accommodating to family but now it at point where line need be clear.

The reduced nap already negatively affect other children so why would one family who not paying full fees determine that everyone has even shorter nap time. They would not be ability to strut into centre and dictate length of nap for own child let alone all others too.

I would be firm and say that this is group care environment not personal bespoke service. That their requests to date have been accommodated even though detrimental to everyone else but a further reduction of nap time is not an option. You understand some children need more sleep than other and same children harder to get to bed that others but you cannot have their child negatively affect everyone else's sleep pattern even more than already happen.

One compromise for you maybe consider and it depend on own routine, is maybe making it earlier. So instead of 12.30 to 2.30 maybe aim for them be down at noon? But I not think this going provide parent magic answer they want. Sound like they need put in at least equal effort as you in own bedtime routine and in growing backbone as parent to stop being a buddy and to actually do some parenting. Unless you firm that enough is enough, I think each stage where parent need step up, is going be blamed on you for your routine in day. Time stop this now.

[crafty]

I had this nap problem before with one family. In my opinion they lacked a bit of structure and discipline when it was sleeping time at their house so their child was going to bed late. That child was 3 and still had not had a full night sleep. Anyways, what I ended up doing was telling the parents that I strongly believed that if she was having a 3 hour nap in the afternoon here was because she needed it. I also said however that I would wake her and give her some books that she could look at but she had to stay in bed. So at first I was asking the parents if it helped at home and at first they said yes but eventually NO it wasn't even helping and here when I would wake her most of the time she would fall right back asleep I did not bother with it. I told them that I woke her and fell back asleep so I would let her sleep at that point.

As for the schedule, your's is very similar to mine. The kids go down at 12h30 and get up at 3h00 so it's 2.5 hours here but a lot of the time everyone sleep more than 2.5hours and if some wake up before they have access to a little book shelf by their beds and they can use. I have had groups who would sleep 3 hours too. I don't really wake the kids up. I follow their lead...unless it goes way too late. Since this family I do let new parents know that the kids WILL go down for naps and that is not up for negotiation but I do let them have books if they are not sleepy or wake up earlier than the others.

I always always feel bad when I need to say NO and be firm with parents but at the end of the day I work for myself and the kids. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Whatever decision your make you need to make it for YOU.

[babydom]

Thank u everyone! I will remain at the two hr nap for everyone! This morning she dropped off her child and left. Didn't even say boo to me. Gotta love when u get attitude from the parents. Haha

Here's a follow up question..... My group is always young so always age 1 and 2 yr olds. Sometimes I'll have 3 yr olds and I do allow quiet time where if they don't nap they still have to lay down and rest and read book do puzzles etc. If they fall asleep I don't wake them till nap time is over. So I don't mind doing it with this girl if mom wants no nap. BUT what do u do with a child that mom doesn't want a nap and the child doesn't stay quiet during the time??? I've tried it with her and she just wakes the others but slapping the books around, signing loudly. Even in a different rm she's loud! Plus I think at 2 she should still be napping. So how do u keep a child quiet who doesn't nap? I can't keep them entertained and keep going shhhh all afternoon, I need my break too.

[mattsmom]

My daycare naptime is between 12 and 2, and it works great for everyone. I do have 1 yr olds that will sleep past that, but they are in a separate room upstairs, so I just let them sleep the extra hour if they need to and do an extra activity with the older ones.

Napping is one thing I do not budge on. Not only do the kids need a nap/rest time in the afternoon, but it is time that I use to clean up the kitchen, have my own lunch, sit down for a bit of a break and answer any phone calls/emails that need answering.

Two years old is too young to not nap, IMO. As you said, you do not have an extra room to put her and if she was awake, she would keep the other kids awake.

[Lee-Bee]

Personally I would not wake all the children. Make your mandatory sleep time from 12-2 but allow all children to sleep until 3pm unless they wake on their own.

I think it takes a lot of time and practice for children to learn to be quiet. At 2.5yrs I wouldn't expect most children to be capable of this.

Personally in this case, with a family that has already asked so many favors I wouldn't be caving. Be firm...tell them your old nap policy stands, they can walk or accept it. If they are getting more care for less they can deal with a child up until 9pm.

[Crayola kiddies]

If the child has out grown her nap she has out grown your daycare ....NEXT !!!!

[babydom]

If the child has out grown her nap she has out grown your daycare ....NEXT !!!!

Haha. That was my first thought!