I had the experience with my son and a couple of other kids I've had in care with violence and anger. In each instance, years afterward, it has turned out they have some degree of LD or Giftedness or like my son a combination of both. I can only speak to what my son's child psychologist has spoken of when doing his psych ed evaluations, but it is typical, in her experience of under stimulated kids, for them to present as angry children out of frustration. It's not for lack of options or activities available to the kid, and it sure isn't a simple case of boredom, but it is simply that the way their brains tick is not satisfied by the standardized activities and way of learning/play. It's not to say that is what is going on, and quite often there is no way to know until years passed, and also in the same breath doesn't honestly help deal with it beyond a possible explanation for this type of behavior.

My son sat on time out for the better part of a year lol. I had to put him on time out at arms length otherwise he would bite me, headbutt me and try to lick a strip off me wherever he could. He was two and I can honestly say I was extremely worried that I had a devil child. When he went to JK he was 3, Xmas baby, and it was the best thing that could have ever happened and he was a changed child. Behavioral issues only ever came up in the future as a result of inconsistency at school which we learnt very quickly. He has a none behavioral LD and is also gifted so withdraws and becomes very negative if he is not stimulated in an appropriate way.

Kids I have had in my care have improved once parents have gotten on board to discipline consistently and not give up because they feel like they are fighting a losing battle. I get it, but otherwise what is the point. Additionally, it is important to know when outside help is needed. Many parents think these things will blow over, and lots of times that is right, but it can't hurt to be in touch with someone who can offer support and resources who specializes in this kind of thing. It can hurt though to brush it off as a phase and then let it manifest into much more. A fine line between one or the other I know.

I would have a blunt but kind conversation with the parents about collaborating equally to help dcb get through this. Ask them what their expectations are of you, and in return tell them what your expectations are of them. Set a two to four week date to go over how things have been going and honestly, if there isn't the slightest bit of improvement, then terminate. It will likely get worse in my opinion. If you are serious about working through this, I would not make these arrangements at the door. I would ask them to arrange a sitter and come over for an hour one evening. Be specific, offer them a written account of long term daily observations, not your opinion, to show them the severity of his actions and the frequency. This might be enough for it to hit home that this is a big problem. I understand a lot of providers aren't willing to take these steps or don't have time. I would also say that if this is the case, terminate immediately. These children are a lot of work and need to be dealt with properly. You can't afford the ramifications of a verbal conversation here and there with distractions of said child and your other daycare kids. Make a commitment that is equally matched with the parents or walk away. Usually it isn't the first person who brings problems up that the parents hear, but it is important that it is managed in a collaboratively way otherwise you and the rest of the daycare kids will be the ones dealing with the consequences on a daily basis. You can only do so much and it sounds like the are of need is at home for the most part. If they aren't willing to get on the same page as you, that is their prerogative but then they aren't the ones with him an average of 10 hours a day I assume and dealing with his disruptive behavior in the group.

Just my rather large two cents. Good Luck!