Child has Anxiety - Can't talk to Daycare Mom about it.

[pinkspring331]

I agree with Lee Bee completely. If it is anxiety as you suspect then telling the child to stop will in all likelihood make things worse.

That's unfortunate pinkspring331...alth ough not to surprising. Yelling at you under any circumstances is not okay, in front of your children is even worse and I too would have asked her to leave my house, and in all honesty I would have terminated because it is in my contract that under no circumstances is it acceptable to raise voice or show aggression towards me, my family or anyone else on premises.

It is however, a common acute response that a parent act defensively and lose their cool when someone questions their child's behavior..especially behavior not considered "normal" I use that term loosely. I think maybe her actions indicate that this behavior is more of a worry to her than she lets on. I know you said it comes across as her not caring, but reading between the lines, it may very well be the complete opposite. Trying to ignore it and hoping it will go away doesn't help the child, but is a common coping mechanism for parents of children presenting with potential spectrum behaviors or anything outside the norm. So sorry you bore the brunt of it and in front of your children too. I am not excusing her actions but I am offering an explanation for her reaction and hopefully this will give you some understanding of why she acted in such a way and it's probably not about you. Human moments rarely occur at convenient times or manifest in ways that don't involve negative ramifications. I would just try to use it as a teachable moment for your kids and try not to let it bother you to much. All to often those on the front line are the ones who get hit hardest but there always has to be a starting point. I'm sure if it carries on at school in the fall this child will be quickly flagged and get some help and this mother will no doubt think back to this day with you and connect some dots.

Hi BrightSparks,

Thank you. Yes it was very unfortunate. She called me names, raised her voice and I had to tell her to leave several times. I told her she can collect her daughters things at a later date. Then another daycare Mom showed up and the upset one was still in my driveway and wouldn't leave because I wouldn't give her the DCG diaper bag. So the upset Mom started yelling at other Mom to please go in to my home and get the rest of her stuff for her and said Good Luck. As the upset daycare Mom left she screamed that she was reporting me and that was going to tarnish my name and that I was finished. All because I asked her to leave my house and when she wouldn't listen I had to yell back at her. Needless to say it was a horrible mess and I terminated her on the spot. The entire time she was yelling at me she was holding her 4 year old. That to me was unacceptable. I have never seen anyone act like that before. I normally do not react where I feel someone need to be kicked out of my home but I couldn't handle the yelling anymore.

My contract indicates that 2 weeks notice is supposed to be given or 2 weeks notice has to be paid but I don't think I will be getting it. She sent her husband to send me the funds for the days she was here this week and that is it.

[Lee-Bee]

:-(

So sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully the other daycare families understand. Maybe send out a little note about how the child is now gone and somehow explain it in a politically correct manner.

Again, it is so unfortunate that you were put in that position, all you were doing is looking out for the child.

I suspect you just laid the ground work for the school (and perhaps the interim daycare) to build on in the coming months. If they bring up this same topic to the mom she will find it harder and harder to deny and hopefully will eventually find the courage to face it.

Sadly this was the last thing this anxious child (or you) needed to witness :-(