My kids are 9 months and 3.5 years old. My youngest is obviously on her own schedule and sleeps in her own crib. She eats with the daycare kids, but can also nurse on demand. My 3.5yo follows all daycare rules, and has quiet time on a cot with the other preschooler, the toddlers use her room to nap. If anything, my 3.5yo is held to a higher standard-no whining, pick up toys, etc. I depend on her to show toddlers our rules by example. I run my daycare the way I raise my kids-limited screen time, treats only on special occasions, etc. I do montessori in the home, so there is lots of opportunity for kids to pick their own activities. Anything my oldest doesn't want to share (or I don't want damaged) is hidden in a closet before daycare opens. She can't play with it while open unless she shares. It's just not fair otherwise-like the situation you describe with your daughter-poor kid! The older kids here don't have to nap, but that's by age, nothing to do with if you live here.