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  1. #1
    Shy
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    Daycare providers who have young kids

    Our last daycare provider had two young children of her own. Her kids were essentially able to do whatever they wanted: watch TV upstairs while my daughter had to stay downstairs, help themselves to snacks and drinks, sleep in their beds while my daughter was on a mat or choose not to nap at all while my daughter was told that she had to. I can certainly understand that this is their home. But it was really difficult for my daughter because she doesn't quite understand why these two other kids were able to do things that she couldn't. I'm just curious if this is fairly standard amongst daycare providers with young children? Am I completely unreasonable to want someone whose own children have the same expectations and rules as the other daycare kids.

  2. #2
    Expansive...
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    Mine followed the same routines as the group during the day, except I did let mine sleep in their own beds in their rooms.

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    I would think that until they are school age daycare providers children should be following the same routines as the daycare. I can understand napping in their own bed though. But tv and extra snacks etc., I wouldn't allow. How old are the children?

    Once they are older then it is only fair to the children that they have an escape. It is their parents career not theirs, they may just need time to decompress and get away from the younger kids. This would be more notable during the summer when they are home all day, but during the school year it wouldn't be that noticeable to the daycare children since they were away at school all day to begin with so are not really part of the group.

  4. #4
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    My daughter followed our routine until she was around 4. She then spent more time away from the daycare space/kids as she requested. This is my job choice not hers. She got to watch tv, eat other things, play on her own upstairs, sleep in etc. I have never had an issue with other kids/parents. She is not allowed to bring food down so really the daycare kids don't even realize she is eating. When she was young though she followed our complete schedule but did nap in her bed.

  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone! I'm happy to hear that it's not necessarily something to expect from all daycare providers with young children of their own. I also now know that it's something to bring up during interviews with new providers. It was one of the reasons why we left our last daycare. Her kids were 3 and 5 (half-day kindergarten) and my daughter would ask me daily why she couldn't do all the things that they were able to do. It must have been quite obvious that they were able to do their own thing.

  6. #6
    Euphoric !
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    When I started my daycare my two youngest were home during the day. My daycare is in the basement. The daycare kids slept in play pens in various rooms in my house ... I did have one that slept on a cot in the play room one in my bedroom one in my older sons room that was school all day and one in the bedroom in the basement .... My children slept in their own rooms. All children napped at the same time including my children. Anyone in the daycare (the basement)must abide by the daycare rules, however if my children wanted to go upstairs and play with their own toys or read their own book sect they were allowed as long as they behaved and didn't get into things. This is their home and they are not in daycare

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  8. #7
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    My kids are 9 months and 3.5 years old. My youngest is obviously on her own schedule and sleeps in her own crib. She eats with the daycare kids, but can also nurse on demand. My 3.5yo follows all daycare rules, and has quiet time on a cot with the other preschooler, the toddlers use her room to nap. If anything, my 3.5yo is held to a higher standard-no whining, pick up toys, etc. I depend on her to show toddlers our rules by example. I run my daycare the way I raise my kids-limited screen time, treats only on special occasions, etc. I do montessori in the home, so there is lots of opportunity for kids to pick their own activities. Anything my oldest doesn't want to share (or I don't want damaged) is hidden in a closet before daycare opens. She can't play with it while open unless she shares. It's just not fair otherwise-like the situation you describe with your daughter-poor kid! The older kids here don't have to nap, but that's by age, nothing to do with if you live here.

  9. #8
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    Mine all grown up now but best I can remember - they follow daycare schedule when small. Their own bedrooms never been used for daycare. Because it their home as well as business building, their personal toys were kept in their bedrooms and they would nap in their own beds.
    Any toys coming out of their bedroom had to be shared but we have daycare toys and personal toys and I never mix those.
    As they got to Elementary school, they spend time in the house away for client child if they want. Their rooms remained their sanctuary. They were allowed snack after school of their choice but if they eating a meal with daycare children they get same as daycare children. Own children also allowed to grab drink from fridge as this their home and daycare children not allowed do that because set meal times in daycare.
    Also if mine want to watch TV or play video games after school, they allowed to do that. It was not in the main daycare room. They had been school all day and allowed time unwind in their home just like daycare children allowed unwind in their own home at end of their day.
    It little different where you carer's children same age but I don't think it unfair let older child go upstairs and watch TV and exclude daycare children. I have no screen time in my daycare and we not had TV for many years now boys all gone but I would not expect own children to have to entertain/accomodate client child once mine in school.
    My children were not daycare staff, and not friends of the daycare children but expected to be friendly to them but they allowed escape to own room, out of daycare space when school done without having children hanging around with them.

  10. #9
    Expansive... BlueRose's Avatar
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    Unless we where going out (park/walk etc) my boys never had to follow the daycare schedule. they are allow to watch tv, play in their rooms, and when they where young enough nap in their own beds. They are not being paid to entertain my clients children, this is my business not theirs.
    My boys where allowed to play with the daycare children if they wished and join in any of the activities.

    I have terminated clients who insisted that I USE my boys as play mates for their children. (They where very aggressive about it). Most clients understood once I explained that they hired me not my children.

    As for it being hard for your child to understand, I can understand that and I feel for her. Unfortunate not every child she comes across in life is going to be doing the same thing as she is or even want to be her friend. Its just how life works.

  11. #10
    Expansive... Artsand crafts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRose View Post
    Unless we where going out (park/walk etc) my boys never had to follow the daycare schedule. they are allow to watch tv, play in their rooms, and when they where young enough nap in their own beds. They are not being paid to entertain my clients children, this is my business not theirs.
    My boys where allowed to play with the daycare children if they wished and join in any of the activities.

    I have terminated clients who insisted that I USE my boys as play mates for their children. (They where very aggressive about it). Most clients understood once I explained that they hired me not my children.

    As for it being hard for your child to understand, I can understand that and I feel for her. Unfortunate not every child she comes across in life is going to be doing the same thing as she is or even want to be her friend. Its just how life works.
    Same here, I chose to leave my well paid job and do home daycare so my children stayed home. I have a great program for the little ones, but as others have mentioned my kids are not at daycare, they are not staff and they do not have anything to do with entertaining or keeping happy other kids, that's my job. They can participate if they choose to, other wise they are allowed to enjoy their home and the non-daycare spaces.

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