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  1. #21
    Starting to feel at home...
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    For my children, it has nothing to do with expecting them to entertain or play with the other children. I don't expect that of the daycare kids, so I certainly wouldn't expect it from my own. Everyone has to be respectful, but I certainly don't force anyone to be friends. I don't treat my kids as though they are also "working" at the daycare. Rather, their day-to-day life now is very similar to what it was before I had a daycare and they went to another provider. It just so happens that their "new daycare" is in our house.

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  3. #22
    Shy
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    Quote Originally Posted by bright sparks View Post
    I asked because I was curious about what other daycare providers were saying about their own children being allowed to do as they please during the daycare day. I'm pretty much in agreeance with MommaL. My kids even at age 5 did not have free run of the house. It made the most sense to me to have them follow the daycare routine because it was the only way I could actually keep an eye on them. My kids are not allowed to snack whenever they please or have free run over technology or the rest of the house, even now as teenagers there are boundaries but at the ages you describe, they would take part in my day. Not because they had to conform to the actions of the other children, but generally speaking because they were much better behaved when on a schedule and loved to take part in the days activities. If they wanted to go adn play in their room, then they absolutly could, but at age 3, in a two story house, there was no way I was going to leave them unsupervised upstaires for a few hours.

    I can understand that your child would be upset by what you described and I think your new approach to finding a suitable daycare provider might be for the best. As each daycare provider will operate differently, each child will require something different. I see nothing wrong with your expectations, and from my experience I found that my own kids much more prefered to be part of the gang doing the same activities. They didn't get the choice to drop out when it didn't suit them.

    I think those of us that said our kids didn't have to participate would still be using common sense with our expectations of our own children. Even though I don't force my children to play with the daycare children; they are still respectful of our environment, of me as their parent, to the general rules of the house they must follow as well as respectful of the children who are guests in their home.
    I don't think a single one of use who choose this career would choose to ignore our own children's needs or safety.

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  5. #23
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    Good news. The new daycare provider I interviewed is great and we think we'll be going with her. She is older and her children are grown and out of the house. So we no longer have to wonder what her own children are doing during the day. However, I just wanted to chime in regarding some of the comments made about this being a life lesson and that daycare provider's children should not be expected to entertain or be friends with the others. I would never expect a daycare provider's kids to entertain my daughter and I certainly didn't choose my previous daycare with this assumption. But I also wouldn't consider it a good life lesson for a 3 year old when all the kids are told that it's story time and a daycare provider's own child (who is the same age) says "I don't want to do that, I'm going upstairs to watch Paw Patrol instead". Or, when a provider serves fruit for a snack and her own child decides she doesn't want that and goes into the cupboard and gets a granola bar instead. I get that this is the child's home, but that still doesn't sit right with me.

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  7. #24
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    I just think that my child would be in another dc if I worked out of home and would be following a routine regardless. I don't see why following the routine at moms daycare would be any different. Children over 5 would be different but under 5, I think it would be beneficial to include them in the whole daycare day or until the other parent got home at least. I however view my home as a business during 8-445 and would view my child being in daycare those hours too.

    I'm glad you've found a dcp that you like!

  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisapisa View Post
    Good news. The new daycare provider I interviewed is great and we think we'll be going with her. She is older and her children are grown and out of the house. So we no longer have to wonder what her own children are doing during the day. However, I just wanted to chime in regarding some of the comments made about this being a life lesson and that daycare provider's children should not be expected to entertain or be friends with the others. I would never expect a daycare provider's kids to entertain my daughter and I certainly didn't choose my previous daycare with this assumption. But I also wouldn't consider it a good life lesson for a 3 year old when all the kids are told that it's story time and a daycare provider's own child (who is the same age) says "I don't want to do that, I'm going upstairs to watch Paw Patrol instead". Or, when a provider serves fruit for a snack and her own child decides she doesn't want that and goes into the cupboard and gets a granola bar instead. I get that this is the child's home, but that still doesn't sit right with me.
    My daycare is separate from my living space .... So if my child didn't want the same snack they could go upstairs and have something different or to play with their own toys in their bedroom the daycare children had no idea that there was anything different because they didn't see it ... The rules were ... If you are in the daycare you must follow the rules ... My kids are in school all day. Now but they still come down in the morning after they have finished breakfast but they must do as the daycare kids are doing .... I would never blatantly let my kids eat an ice cream cone while the daycare kids are having carrot sticks ..... They just don't have to spend their days with us if they don't want too ....

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