I have a 2.5 yr old who has been with me 1.5 yrs. Over the last few months, I have found her behaviour to be emotionally draining, and I'm trying to figure out if it's "terrible twos" or a developmental concern.
She has always been a child who needed the toys to be put back exactly where they need to go, and would even get upset before 2 yrs old if another child didn't put it precisely in the right spot. When she was younger, it was very helpful, as she was an amazing helper for tidying her mess.
Over the last 6 months, she will raise her voice to other children who are tidying and tell them they're wrong, as she forcefully moves the toys back to their proper bins.
She has also started dictating to other peers how the play will go. She could be across the room doing another activity, and if she hears others playing or role playing, she will go over and tell them they can't role play that way, or can't use the toys in the manner that they choose. My feeling is that if they don't hurt themselves/others/damage equipment, then any child is free to use the toys however they wish. I have to redirect her all of the time, and emphasize that peers are free to make their own choices as to how to play. Quite often I have to give her more structured and individual learning, just to give the others the freedom to play without criticism. It happens inside/outside/on walks/at the park...everywhere.
The newest thing is to not let peers have an opinion. A child might say, "I'm feeling tired" and she'll argue that they're not tired, and then tell the other child how to feel(Ie. You're not tired, you're happy) Or they might tell a story about what they did on the weekend with parents, and she'll argue and say "You didn't do that, you went to the park" And then an argument ensues, as the child who shared the info is insistent on confirming the story. We talk about everyone being allowed to share their own stories and share their own feelings.
This is also a child who has decided that nap time is optional, and will bounce on the bed/pull toys out/pull blankets off peers during nap time. I have moved her further away from the others at nap, but it is constant checking every 5-7 mins.
I'm at a loss here, as I wonder if there is a bigger developmental issue here? She's a control freak, and it often brings the others to tears, as she dominates everything. I'm worn out from redirecting her behaviour. Any thoughts here? I wondered about OCD tendencies or anxiety? Any suggestions would be great! Thanks!