Over it !

[crafty]

Hey all !

I think this is more of a vent than a question but I need to get some stuff out or I think I'll just go nuts.

I've been caring for this kid whom I'm also related to for about 5 months now and it's not SUPER bad but it hasn't been great. Parents pick up later (up to 30 minutes sometimes) whiteout notice (even after I made it clear I WANT TO KNOW WHEN YOU DROP OFF AND PICK UP), the kid has had hitting problems now he's into tantrums and screaming when things wont go his way. I never know if it's the HULK or little Lambie that I'm getting in the morning. Sometimes he arrives all is well sometimes he arrives screaming. He throws toys for what seems to be no reason, he'll grab other children's faces either by anger or just because. It's not everyday like this but I'm already feeling like I hate my job because of this. I realized it today as he is the only child I have and normally I would be happy and enjoying some quieter moments but I'm still feeling stressed and frustrated. I know he's over indulged at home doesn't get enough sleep and to me he eats way to many sweets for a 22 month old. I know the family too well which may be the source of the frustration I have. I do tell the parents when something is not ok with me and all that but I still feel a lot of pressure because it's family and I got MIL on my back. With all of this I'm finding it hard to connect with the little dude and I dread mornings. I'm not sure if it's just me or a phase I'm going through but I am feeling very unhappy with my job. I guess I'm wondering if any of you had gone through some difficult times making you question the daycare business. To me it seems related to this specific child but I KNOW if I term him it will be a huge family drama and I don't have a big enough reason to term him I think. Yes he has some issues but other than me being tired of it I don't fear it's interfering with the safety and well being of others.

Can any one share their thoughts and wisdom please to help me figure this one out ?

[BlueRose]

Late Pick ups = $1.00/min late fee up until YOU close the door behind them, not when they arrive.

Tantrums/Screaming to get his way = put in a play pen until he calms down and don't give in.

Throwing toys = no toys or time out

Grabbing other children = Time out

Mother - in - law = • All information regarding the children in the daycare will only be given to the clients; the legal guardian(s). This applies even when a third party is paying the daycare fees. (exception: If required for any reason by the police, CAS or the Ministry of Education)
........This is my policy. Tell your mother in law that you WILL NOT discuss any information regarding what is going on in the daycare with this or any other child. If she comes back with something she heard from someone else, just remind her that you will not discuss it with her. That even though someone else has spoken with her, you will not disrespect the child's right to privacy. END OF DISCUSSION.

[crafty]

Thank BlueRose,

I do all of the above. My problem is not so much dealing with the behaviors and parent issues it's more about the weight it's put on me and my daily stress. Right now I'm waiting for him to arrive and I'm stressed about what mood he'll be in and what type of day I'll have with him. I've had successes with his behaviors but it's taking way longer because when he returns home it gets undone. I also feel like every unpleasant little "tick" or "phase" he picks up the parents are blaming the daycare environment. Not geared towards me but they are definitely making excuses for this child. Anyway ... I knew when I went into this with friends/family I would be okay with enforcing my rules but I did not expecting to have so many frustrations and stress. It's one thing feeling disrespected and disappointed by strangers but it's another when it comes from people you know and care about. I guess my issue is letting it roll of my back.

[Goldilocks]

You have to think of your well being. If you are stressed and dread what kind of mood and behaviour this child will bring of course you will start to hate your job. It shouldn't be that way. If he is throwing toys and grabbing or hitting other children he is becoming a safety issue with the other children. I had a four year DCB that was also throwing toys and hitting other children. I was giving him time outs everyday for one reason or another. Like you I was becoming stressed and dreading the day and hating my job. After DCB hit a child, again, I terminated him. Best thing I ever did. I couldn't believe the difference. Even the children were less stressed. I understand it's more difficult when it's family but you still have to think of yourself and the other children.
Good luck.

[Van]

yes you have to think of your well being - even if it is family
it will be a long time before the child goes on to school so too much STRESS

if I were you I would say to the parents I can't take care of ----but I know someone who can and have it organize for the child to move on to another daycare
Good luck and hugs

[Crayola kiddies]

I have a rule ... I do not care for family, friends or neighbours children .... It's time to tell the parents it's not working out and it would be better to find new care .

[bright sparks]

I have a rule ... I do not care for family, friends or neighbours children .... It's time to tell the parents it's not working out and it would be better to find new care .

This is a rule to live by for sure. I have on numerous occasions turned away neighbours and friends children. It's situations like this that prove why!