Not starting soon enough is a big issue. I so hate getting an older child into care and by that I mean over 18 months, lol. I want them as young as they can be and then they grow up thinking my way and my rules is the way. I start right from the beginning to enforce the way things will be and by the time they are old enough for it to matter they know and don't challenge. One example that seems silly but I have a one year old now learning what part of my kitchen is off limits. I have my working area (sink/stove/counter/fridge) and that U shaped alcove is a no enter area. I refuse to turn around from the stove with a hot pot and have a child underfoot. So everytime the baby comes in I move her out and say no we don't play here and of course she screams but I just go back to doing my cooking and repeat moving her as needed. Yes putting her in the highchair would be easier but doesn't give me this teaching moment. Now even the three year old will ask me if he wants to go into the alcove to put something in the garbage because he knows it is off limits. The sooner they learn these things the happier we all get along and down the road there is no unteaching needed which is the best part BUT it can sound harsh and unreasonable to treat the baby that way until you understand why it is being done.