My day so far...

[Judy Trickett]

This is pretty typical so think twice about terminating because there is a very good chance the next kids you get will be the same or at least to some degree the same.

Yes, I agree. Most kids cry like this the first day or two (or for the first week for some). OP, you have to remember that this child has been home with mom exclusively picking her up and responding to every whimper for a whole year. The child has learned that crying gets her what she wants. It's not the child's fault. She just needs to relearn how it works at your house and in group care.

Just don't pick her up. Not at ALL. Seriously, you are teaching her that crying gets her a reward of being picked up. When she cries you take over a toy to her and offer it and tell her 'that's enough' and you walk away. It is very easy......desired behaviour gets positive results, undesirable behaviour gets NOTHING.

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore and she will be fine in a week.

[Daymama]

I use a baby carrier (Ergo or ring sling) and wear little ones as much as possible for the first few days of care. This helps with the transfer of trust that Playfelt refers to, and lets me have my hands free. I did a lot of babywearing with my own children so it comes naturally to me. I have found that most babies/young toddlers do well with being carried in this way, and after a while, when they feel secure with me and comfortable in my home, they squirm more and more to be let down to play with the toys and the other children. I try to time it, too, so I am not starting more than one baby at a time, so I can give extra support to the new one when s/he needs it.

[Judy Trickett]

I use a baby carrier (Ergo or ring sling) and wear little ones as much as possible for the first few days of care. This helps with the transfer of trust that Playfelt refers to, and lets me have my hands free. I did a lot of babywearing with my own children so it comes naturally to me. I have found that most babies/young toddlers do well with being carried in this way, and after a while, when they feel secure with me and comfortable in my home, they squirm more and more to be let down to play. I try to time it, too, so I am not starting more than one baby at a time, so I can give extra support to the new one when s/he needs it.

Hey, first a disclaimer....NOT picking on you.

BUT.....I don't wear kids. No, I am NOT an APer and well, don't agree with Aping but even if I DID agree with APing I would not wear a kid.

Here's why......it is really, really BAD for the provider. It is all well and good to wear your own kids because that amounts to far less time on your frame. But if you wear dckids and you are in this career for 5, 10, 20 years then that is A LOT of wear and tear on your frame. And with NO worker's compensation or EI or benefits that is a big liability to not only your job but your lifestyle and well-being. It is very bad for your spine.

Just saying.........

[Daymama]

No worries Judy, to each her own. I'm an APer who uses behavioralist techniques like you describe after the children have settled in, but I do everything I can to promote attachment while the children are in the settling in period. I'm willing to bet that both of us run excellent dayhomes, just with different styles.

I have been a provider for 13 years and have used a carrier off and on the whole time. An ergonomic carrier, properly fitted, like an Ergo, does not cause back pain for me at all, not the way carrying a babe in my arms would, though I've heard some people say they can't babywear due to pain (often those who started trying after a c-section.)

I find that babywearing is a great tool for me as a provider that makes children less clingy in the long run - and I find I only need to do it during the settling in period. Before long, they become more interested in exploring and playing with other children than in the view from my carrier. I might use a carrier while on outings, too, if I don't have enough room in my stroller, but my carriers have been mostly gathering dust for about 18 months now as the children I have now have been very content since a few weeks after they started. I will break them out for some new babies in January, though. I also have had zero turnover from having to terminate fussy babies or toddlers early on or families leaving because it isn't working out for their child - and that is fine with me, as I hate advertising and interviewing and am willing to go to a little trouble to avoid doing more of it.

It might not work for all babies or for anyone who didn't enjoy wearing their own children, but I just wanted to put the idea of a good carrier out there as a tool. I'm sorry you have back pain, Cocoon! It is great that the family sounds willing to work with you on helping the child adjust to care, though. I do a lot of sitting on the floor with little ones, as playfelt suggests, too - that is a great strategy to help a little one get comfortable around you and your home, though it helps to be physically flexible for that one, too.

Your point about providers having no insurance for injuries is well taken, Judy. It is really important for providers who are in this for the long haul to stay fit, be careful lifting, and possibly look into buying into an accident and disability insurance package. There are lots of ways to get injured, both on the job and off, and any injury could shut down a dayhome provider's income. Our health and ability to work are the greatest assets most of us have, and we do have to protect them.