My children love that I am home for them after school, they are now 17,13 and 10 and they EXPECT me to be here after school to provide snack (I bake a lot) homework help and just have the ability to have some down time which they would never get at a before/after school program. I never expected them to share their toys, anything special was in their rooms and for naptimes little ones are always in play pens so as not to get into my kids stuff. I don't use my kids clothes for daycare kids, if the parents don't send stuff for their own child that's just a shame. I do not keep toddler sized clothes for everyone. Yes I have missed daytime school functions but my husband or his mom go to make sure our family is represented and for the really important stuff I will take a personal day to attend, that is why I put 5 paid personal/sick days in my contract because life happens. Maybe your kids aren't thrilled right now but they will understand as they get older I'm sure. Good luck and don't give up unless it is really right for your family