How does being a daycare provider effect your own kids?

[Bugaboo]

My mom ran a day home out of my childhood home for 18 years. It didn't bother me a bit that she ran a day home. My mom had a rule that I had one or two toys that were "special" I got to keep them in my room and I did not have to share them with the day care kids. That being said I wasn't allowed to play with them when the other kids were there if I wouldn't share. I liked to have those toys that were just mine it made me feel special. I don't have any bad memories of "growing up in a day home".

[playfelt]

Rather than look at the negatives of what your kids have to tolerate think about what it would be like for them if you didn't do daycare and instead went out to work. How often do you let them sleep in a bit longer in the morning compared to the dc who are up, fed , and driven to your house? In someone else's home they would only have the playroom to be in, no bedroom to be alone in, they wouldn't have access to their own toys all day just those of the caregiver. They would have to go to school unless really really sick cause you can only take so many days off before getting fired. You are not there when they run in from school with special news, or forget something and need it taken to them..... the list of benefits far outweighs the negatives.

Just as we expect the daycare children to adapt to the new reality of daycare our own children will too. The less we try to make it up to them the less they will feel there is anything to be made up. Our guilt can be the cause of issues sometimes.

Two of my four kids were born into the daycare and the others were 18 months and 4 months when I started so for the most part have known nothing else. As they got older were there a few issues yes. Mostly it had to do with them forgetting what it would be like if the daycare kids weren't there and instead I went out to work. And if I didn't go out to work what they wouldn't have - the extra clothes, pizza for supper, whatever. Once they put it all into perspective they usually settled down.

[Daycare123]

I am expecting my first child and have been running my ahdc for about 6 months. I could see how constantly sharing your space as a young child may be very frustrating-so I have kept the daycare completely separate from my family's living space (for my sanity as well) . I have toys and books, nap room, bathroom and small kitchen that are all on one floor that is designated to the daycare. However, I do realize that this isn't possible for everyone and feel fortunate, especially after reading these posts that I have been able to keep my business separate from my household.

[mom-in-alberta]

My kids would complain, sometimes. But tough. I think they would have complained a lot more if THEY were the ones going to daycare. As others have said, we make small concessions, for the greater good. We explained that to them many a-time.

[trio]

As we work for long hours, we were not able to connect with our child. But the day care centre lady update us about her whole day in daycare. So even if we are not in contact with them for 9 or 10 hours a day, they make up our children and their social mind well. Sometimes they gift them some nameplates as well for their activities.

[godsgirl]

Wow! Thank you everyone for your honesty and for even posting this thread. I have been thinking about this A LOT too. Especially since I have been noticing more and more behaviour from my own child that I don't like and he only exhibits it when certain children are here (and surprise surprise these are the children who are the ones who regularly behave that way). I've been asking myself if my son is benefiting from this or not. And truth be told, as much as I don't like some of the things that he is learning and yes I admit that at the end of the day I am drained of patience for children and can be a bit snippy to my own family. I know what happens at day homes and I would prefer this stuff to happen under my supervision rather than someone else's. Plus, when I lay everyone else down for their naps I go back into his room and we cuddle and he gets his own special story read to him. It's at that moment that despite all of the frustrations and questions/doubts that I have about this career path go away because I know that I wouldn't be able to have that moment with him if I was working outside of the home. I do think that the longer I do this job (it will be 2 years this July) that it has been getting easier the more that I learn about myself, other children, what works, what doesn't. I also think that a huge thing to learn is to take care of yourself and that changes a lot of the atmosphere too.

[madmom]

My children love that I am home for them after school, they are now 17,13 and 10 and they EXPECT me to be here after school to provide snack (I bake a lot) homework help and just have the ability to have some down time which they would never get at a before/after school program. I never expected them to share their toys, anything special was in their rooms and for naptimes little ones are always in play pens so as not to get into my kids stuff. I don't use my kids clothes for daycare kids, if the parents don't send stuff for their own child that's just a shame. I do not keep toddler sized clothes for everyone. Yes I have missed daytime school functions but my husband or his mom go to make sure our family is represented and for the really important stuff I will take a personal day to attend, that is why I put 5 paid personal/sick days in my contract because life happens. Maybe your kids aren't thrilled right now but they will understand as they get older I'm sure. Good luck and don't give up unless it is really right for your family