Picky eater "yucky"

[Busy ECE mommy]

@ebhappydc- I don't provide an alternative food here, unless it's an infant in their first few weeks of transition into care, who is just getting used to our menu. A 3.5 yr old definitely has the ability to tell you when they are hungry or not, but I wouldn't be offering the cheerios after everyone goes to bed. He knows that the cheerios come if he holds out long enough, so he knows he doesn't have to eat the meal being served.
It's not up to you to provide substitutes, especially at that age.
If he's too lethargic to properly participate in care, then he shouldn't be there.
It sounds like he needs a referral to an occupational therapist to be screened for sensory processing issues.

[ebhappydc]

@ebhappydc- I don't provide an alternative food here, unless it's an infant in their first few weeks of transition into care, who is just getting used to our menu. A 3.5 yr old definitely has the ability to tell you when they are hungry or not, but I wouldn't be offering the cheerios after everyone goes to bed. He knows that the cheerios come if he holds out long enough, so he knows he doesn't have to eat the meal being served.
It's not up to you to provide substitutes, especially at that age.
If he's too lethargic to properly participate in care, then he shouldn't be there.
It sounds like he needs a referral to an occupational therapist to be screened for sensory processing issues.

You're right and giving the substitute has only backfired as the other older child doesn't think it's fair if picky gets to be up eating for part of nap time. Good intentions gone awry! Thanks

[Lee-Bee]

How long have you had the child in care? Has he always been picky?

If he is gaining weight he is getting enough nutrients. If he isn't getting them from you then someone is feeding him something that he likes.

FEW child will actually starve themselves and few would push their being picky enough to the point of passing out due to low blood sugars. If he is seeing a nutritionist then they would have noted if he was one of these few pretty quickly in their assessments.

I know it sounds really mean...but if he wants to not eat to the point of passing out...then perhaps he needs to pass out? So you can call an ambulance and get the parents and medical professionals attention.

I suspect he is a strong willed child who is getting food on the side (cheerios from you and likely some filling foods at home). Progress isn't made by sneaking food to a child. It is VERY hard as an adult to see a child go hungry because we as adults know how uncomfortable it is to be hungry but that child needs to feel it himself, to the point of caring to not choose to feel those hunger pains.

I am saddened at how we now have protein drinks for kids and formula marketed just for picky kids. It is a sign we as a whole are not having proper expectations for children's eating habits. We've catered to them to the point in not expecting them to eat real food. It's not good!

Best of luck with the little guy...hopefully home fully jumps on board, it would only take a few days (at most) of a VERY hungry child for the child to broaden his "liked" foods.

Everytime my almost 5yr old goes through a slightly "picky" phase I go into a no easy safe foods, only 'weird' foods cooking streak. She doesn't continue to rely on the familiar common foods and just naturally forgets to be picky as she isn't getting bits of 'safe' foods to hold her along. Meaning no breads, crackers, pasta etc. It seems to work BUT we've has this mentality from day one so it is MUCH easier to get back on track when needed than starting from scratch years into picky eating habits!