I am so sorry for your loss Busy...I understand that you want to do right by your families, but forgive me for being so blunt, but the longer you allow this family to walk all over you, the more you are sending the message that it is an acceptable way to treat you. I think your comment about not knowing how much more you can take hits the nail on the head. How much more can you handle because in all likelihood it isn't going to stop until you make it and put a stop to it. Best of luck with everything. A bad family is hard enough for anyone to deal with let alone when you are going through your own personal struggles. I hope you have lots of supportive people in your life to help you through this difficult time and that you are able to take the next steps towards what is best for you by cutting these kinds of people out of your life. You deserve better and they don't deserve you.