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Thread: Infant naps

  1. #1
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    Infant naps

    I'm on week 4 of caring full-time for a 12 month old. The mom informed me just prior to starting that the child doesn't nap during the day except for 15 mins. total in a day. Prior to this I was told that there was a lengthy PM nap, but it sounds like it was only for about 2 weeks in the entire 12 months at home. Now I find out, the child has never napped during the day since being born. I'm at a loss... Also found out that child is breastfed and rocked to sleep at night and has never learned to self-soothe, always put to bed asleep, instead of drowsy. Obviously I never got the whole truth from the parent on this matter before starting. Needless to say, the child screams bloody murder when put down for a nap, and is miserable through the day due to no sleep. I've tried CIO and noise machine etc, and popping in periodically to check on her, but child still screams like a banshee. Usually by this point, the kids have transitioned to at least some sleep. Do I keep going at this point. It's gruelling... Have you ever heard of a 12 month old that doesn't need any naps a day? The nighttime rest is about 10 hrs. Help????

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    I would suggest you keep the routine. I had a case like that it was awful but I had to take the whole group for early walks and the baby would get fresh air and keep him busy and well fed at lunch and after lunch he will be tired but, refusing to sleep. I had just to place his playpen apart from the group and keep him there while I rubbed and patted his head and back, I also used soothing music. It took almost 3 weeks. And at the sound of the music he was done getting nice healthy naps. Happier afternoons. Eventually I had changed him to my group room.

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  4. #3
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    We're outside for 2 hrs a day, so lots of fresh air and activities, but this child fights it every step of the way.

  5. #4
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    sadly this parent did nothing to prepare her child for group care ....i would also go as far as saying it sounds like she practices attachment parenting. When i interview i always ask how the child naps and if they go down on their own or if they are nursed/rocked to sleep....i can usually get a feel during the interview if they are AP parents. I also give the parents suggestions on how to prepare their child for group care...such as learning to self sooth and not being rocked or nursed to sleep, holding their own sippy cup, finger feeding, playing on the floor by themselves instead of constantly being entertained, delayed gratification ....not running to the child as soon as they make a peep....tell them you will be right there and then make them wait a minute or two ....the reality is in group care they will have to wait a few minutes sometimes because there are other children as well ....they will have to pick up their own food/sippy cup and put it in their mouths, they will have to play independantly, and they will have to sleep and you likely wont have time to rock pat whatever the child to sleep becuase you have other children that need you as well....not sure how many other kids you have in your care but after 4 weeks of screaming its not really fair to the other kids to have to listen to that especially if the parents have not done any changes at home to help with the transition ....i would have a frank conversation with them and ask them specific questions regarding the issues you are having (you only mentioned napping so im just giving suggestions)...like are you still nursing her to sleep? are you giving her a sippy cup? do you allow her to self feed? are you encouraging her to play independently on the floor ...if she cries do you drop everything and go right to her ? then tell them a different way to do things in order to mirror daycare ...if she is not willing to work with you to change things then it isn't going to get better because mom will undo any progress you make

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  7. #5
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    I have a child like that right now and I just separate him from the other children at nap-time,

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    Other things I have tried are: a soother, a stuffy from home, their own blanket from home. They are sensorial at that age so anything that smells or feels like home will be comforting and help to sooth. Warm milk after lunch also helps to relax. I know it is hard the first weeks but she will come around. Another thing I figured oUT is that some babies aren't familiar with playpens and get scared so, I tried a cot and it made a difference. Ask the parents how she sleeps at home.
    I also know that self soothing is important but first you will have to develop in that child, trust and security then you move onto self soothing which becomes easier as the child gets attached to you and the group routines.

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  11. #7
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    The bizarre thing is, that this is the 2nd child I have had from this family and there was none of this going on at home or here with the first child. The child can self-feed/drink and can be left for a few minutes to play, but has no idea how to self soothe. She's got her stuffy and sleepsac from home. No mention of attachment parenting practices until just before starting. Very misleading..
    I'll stick to the routine and we'll keep moving forward. Not sure how this child or parent managed to keep their sanity with no naps for 12 months lol!

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    That is bizarre to do AP on the 2nd child knowing that the child will go to you at 12 months, Maybe it was the only way the child slept and she did it out of desperation.

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  14. #9
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    Regardless of the cause, I think you have to treat this differently than the average transition and alter your expectations. This could take months and if the child is still rocked to sleep at home at the same time, I'd be inclined to give notice. You can't trust this parent and even if she said she was on board and doing exactly as you tell her, I doubt she would actually be honest and do it.
    If you choose to carry on providing care then stick to a VERY STRICT timed routine for meals and naps. Naps will ultimately be CIO and this child should be separated from the rest of the group and preferably by a floor too. Do not go back into the room AT ALL for the duration of the nap. If it doesn't work even ever so slightly within a couple of weeks, like periods of quiet, difference in intensity of crying, then it's a fair bet that mum isn't doing the same at home and at that point I'd terminate. Apart from the lying, the child isn't a good fit for your daycare and you don't have a collaborative caregiving relationship with the parents.

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  16. #10
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    Ugh-my life! I had a bottle fed baby with overattentive parents that was awful to transition (so it's not only breastfed!). Didn't self soothe, didn't even hold her own bottle! It took 4 months of gradual transitions, and she now drinks milk from a cup at the table and sleeps on a mattress on the floor in the group room, 4h total (morning and afternoon naps, 15 months old). The next baby to start will be 12mo next month, never had a bottle, only naps 40 min, etc... but the Dad is home this month, and has committed to getting her to nap without nursing or bottle-so that's a huge plus if true, time will tell.

    I think it's unfair to lump all breastfed babies or AP parents together. I breastfed my first (nursed to sleep too if I was home) until she was 2, and she did just fine in daycare. I never did CIO with either of my children and they napped well and sleep on their own beds, in their room, all night. I don't do CIO with daycare kids either (so I may attract more AP parents too, skewing my experiences). I follow Montessori philosophy for my daycare, which is foremost about respecting the child. Transition still sucks... but if I can figure out their 'why', I can stop the crying. Do they hate the play pen? What about a cot? Are they scared or feeling abandoned? Are they waking before reaching deep sleep? I like No Cry Nap Solution for troubleshooting sleep issues.

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