Quote Originally Posted by kindredspirit View Post
She really needs to take him to the doctor! Sure, it could be behavioural, but incontinence can also be caused by UTIs, constipation (even if pooping regularly, there could be a mass in his rectum). And if it is behavioural, she can get professional advice.

If she refuses, and you decide to ride it out, definitely give him a bag, clothes and cleaning wipes and let him be independent. That is NOT a punishment, just a natural consequence. My 1.5yo helps wipe up if she pees through her trainers, and can put her wet trainers in the laundry basket (still needs me to clean up thoroughly, but she is only 1!).
I still don't think a visit to the doctors is necessary. Incontinence is not a common symptom of a UTI, frequent urination is a symptom which would result in more frequent accidents, but that is not incontinence. Second, of all, UTI results in smelly urine and the child would be in significant pain and have other symptoms after a lengthy period like this most commonly a fever. In terms of constipation, I don't see any mention of constipation from the OP so that is irrelevant but if there was a mass there would be other symptoms such as pain and fever. Don't get on at the parent to go to the Drs, its a waste of time and will cause more conflict between you and her. If anything, suggest she contact early years/ROCK for resources to help with toileting. Family Dr is not the best person to help with this and it is just one more person in the waiting room holding up patients who really need to see the Dr when there aren't any actual telltale signs that this child has a medical issue. Stop panicking and accept that some children fall outside of the norm but that doesn't mean there is "something wrong" that "needs to be fixed but that expectations need to be altered and a home daycare may not be the best environment for the child while going through this stage in toileting.